Cycling in Traffic: Irrational Fears

If the title of this post drew you in because you care about Vehicular Cycling or Cycle Driving or any of those crazy notions about roads being shared without special paint or lanes or infrastructure, you are in for a real disappointment, despite the fact that bikes and roads and cars are nowhere near mutually exclusive. This post is about my stupid brain and its totally unfounded, irrational fears:

Since I have not been buried in concrete, you can expect to see another post here soon. Have an excellent weekend!

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

How Cyclists See Toronto

If you had to guess which city would be nicer to ride your bike in, would you choose Toronto, Ontario, Canada or Dallas, Texas, USA?

I'm thinking that most people who don't know either city would guess Toronto. Canadians are usually so well mannered, right? Right?

Here's a post from one Texas cyclist who didn't really enjoy Toronto's downtown cycling scene. I think it should be seen as a wake-up call to anyone who thinks Toronto is doing OK when it comes to cycling...

Second Class in Toronto

I would encourage Torontonians to respond to that post as they see fit... I'm looking forward to seeing their comments on it.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

POV Cycling Video Bits n' Pieces

I've had a few snippets of video that I didn't know what to do with for a while, so I strung 'em together:

About the video:

- The under-bridge guys were just doing an inspection. I don't know what the deal was with the masked dude though.

- I was in a hurry and actually used that unsecured rack, fretting a little for the 20 minutes or so I was in the office building.

- Pedal boat guy was a really nice dude, but I have forgotten his name. He said the boat was fun but at over 100 lbs and with his little passenger to boot, a killer on hills. I'll bet.

- My friend Rolly witnesses majestic birds plucking snakes right out of the grass when he's on the bike path:

Rolly's Hawk

I get bounding groundhogs.

-  On the fugitives: I actually called the cops and asked them if they had any cases / incidents reported at that place and time because I had video if they wanted it. Although some woman up the street was yelling at those guys, it wasn't anything that got reported.

Still very little time for writing and few ideas for anything substantial lately. That video camera on my head is really saving my ass in terms of giving me stuff to post!

Have great weekends, all.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Encounters with Rantwick, episode Twenty: Super Salmon Cycle Squad!

I don't know that I have ever done back-to-back Encounters with Rantwick posts; but when Encounters happen, they happen, I guess.

It is a an awe-inspiring thing to come across perfection. Unless of course you see it all around you. I suppose some people find it all over the place. I envy those people, because I don't always have the eyes to see. I've got this to hang to for now:

Those three are a reminder to me that perfection is possible, and for that I am grateful. Thank you, SSCS!


Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

How To Bicycle On A Roundabout

On rare occasion, I find that I want to write seriously about something that may prove useful to others. I know, it freaks me out too. Anyway, here we go:

London Ontario built its first roundabout a while ago, at the intersection of Hale and Trafalgar. I think it has quite handily dealt with the railway crossing and traffic tie-ups that used to characterize that spot. Here's a picture!

source: Google Maps

I recently saw a cyclist (sorry, no video) riding to the right of traffic in this circle. They got through OK, but I sure don't want to see it again. As I see it, roundabouts are characterized by one main thing: everybody keeps moving. For the cyclist to the right of traffic, this means that they are, in effect, intentionally riding in a right hook machine.

The cars in the circle are under constant pressure from behind to keep moving and exit to the right as soon as possible.

When you commit to really taking the lane, roundabouts work great!

One thing about roundabouts is that they're super if you're in or on a vehicle. They are not much fun for pedestrians. If you are uncomfortable taking the lane on your bike, I get that. Get off and walk it for roundabouts. I'm thinking, though, that a busy roundabout is more stressful that way than my way. If you can make an exception and at least take the lane in roundabouts, that would rock. You might even start thinking about other places or situations where doing it makes things better for everyone.

One last thing: Most of the time I can take or leave sharrows unless of course they are of the pirate variety:

In the case of roundabouts, however, a bunch of normal sharrows smack in the lane would be a great cue telling cyclists where they ought to be. I might even ask the City to do it, which would be quite out of character for me; I am typically a rather lame excuse for an invested citizen.  

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - Did you know that "Although the term roundabout is sometimes used for a traffic circle even in the United States, U.S. traffic engineers now make the distinction that in a roundabout entering traffic must always yield to traffic already in the circle, whereas in a traffic circle entering traffic is controlled by Stop signs, or is not formally controlled, although some states are exceptions, notably New York, which follows the "yield" rule although naming them Traffic Circles."? (source, wikipedia) I didn't!

Mighk was good enough to let me know in the very first comment and I have corrected the post accordingly, taking out most mentions of "traffic circles". Thanks Mighk! When I give out bad information I want it to be intentional, dammit!

Encounters with Rantwick, episode seventeen: I Am a Cat 6 Racer

I am completely unfamiliar with organized competitive cycling of any kind. I don't even ride in a group, ever. Don't pity me though. For me, the solitude is part of what makes a bike ride beautiful. Commutes, even. Like some other commuters, however, I am afraid I'm a bit of a Cat 6 racer.

I had to research a little bit about competitive cycling in order to explain that label here. The short version is that real bicycle racers compete in Categories based on their skill level. Category 1 is for elite cyclists who compete at the National and International level. Category 5 for men and 4 for women is where beginners at racing do their thing. "Cat 6" is not a real category. It is used as a euphemism for the informal racing that people on the street or path sometimes engage in, often spontaneously. I am a Cat 6 racer and I am AWESOME. Check this out:

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

The Best Cycling Retirement Idea Ever, Or Pure Stupidity. One of Those.

As my spotty-at-best posting might suggest, life and work are continuing to conspire against my blogging efforts. The life stuff is good, I'm doing a little coaching for the first time this year and my free time is pretty much soccer soccer soccer.

Work, however, has also been crazy, which has led me to start thinking about retirement although it is a far off, unreal condition for me. Nonetheless, I have had an idea and I would like to hear from people about its potential flaws or how it might be refined.

Every cyclist loves a tailwind. What if you could take a trip that was nothing but tailwinds, every day? So here's my idea. I pick a spot somewhere smack in the middle of the US. I have a fully loaded tourer and maybe even a trailer. I have camping stuff, a few nicer things to wear and some vacation money. Each day I get up and ride in whatever direction the wind blows me. If the winds shifts, I shift with it. I stop if I'm blown into a town I want to see more of, maybe stay in a motel. If I'm blown into the middle of nowhere I find a spot to camp. In my mind's eye the first time I try this it is for a couple of weeks. The next time, lessons learned, a month or more, and so on...

Hey, I could write a travel book about it, or since I take so much video, make a short film! See ya later; dream time is over and I've got to get back to work.

Tailwinds*,

R A N T W I C K

*"Tailwinds" salutation stolen from ChipSeal.

Encounters with Rantwick, episode sixteen: Friends of the Freak

I mentioned in a recent post that I was gonna try my new camera on my helmet, where most would have in the first place. I must admit that I like that perspective best after all and since I edit all the video anyway, "head sweep" is not the problem I thought it would be.

Having had a camera mounted either on my bike or my person for a couple of years now, I was surprised at how much notice the new camera got. I suppose I shouldn't have been... it now sticks up off the top of my helmet in a conspicious, freakish way. London Ontario, while being a good sized city of 300K+, is not a metropolis where something odd surprises no one, and people have been reacting to the camera's presence.

Some people positively glower at me like they wish me dead. I'm not kidding. Those people, however, are not what this post is about, because I don't like them. I like the people who just shout out "hey, is that a camera?"

If I were participating in a bike race (yeah, right) or out on a MTB trail or something, I'm sure the cam would find greater acceptance and understanding. POV cams are for people who want to record their "recreational" exploits after all, right? Well, not always, and the fact that I'm recording others in the public space is interesting and exciting to some and simply pisses off others. I like the people that just shout out their curiosity rather than shooting me suspicious glances. I'm not trying to "catch" anybody doing anything. I swear.

Hey, Let Your Freak Flag Fly!

R A N T W I C K

If you're like some of these good people and want a camera like mine, check out 

Bag Balm

First off, my apologies for being rather absent lately. This blog has had to play something like sixth fiddle to a bunch of other things. One of those things was, well, something I am reluctant to write about but that often affects cyclists... saddle sores. The last time I wrote about Anti Monkey Butt I blithely mentioned that I had never had any need of a chamois cream. I will never be blithe about the subject ever again, because as some of my readers reminded me back then, an unhappy undercarriage can be a serious business, which I have learned personally over the last couple of weeks.

While I was away during March I took a vacation in a hot and sunny place where I developed a minor heat rash in the final days despite the use of the aforementioned Anti Monkey Butt powder. No big deal until I had a couple of very cold wet rainy rides upon my return. Long story short and hoping to avoid Too Much Information, I spent most of the last week getting things calmed down and sorted out. All is well now, but I never want to go there again. I consulted some bike forums about what people preferred. It seemed to me that 2 products dominated the chamois cream discussion, Assos Chamois Creme and Bag Balm.

I have no doubt that the good people at Assos have developed a very good product because lots of cyclists seem to swear by it. Lots of cyclists also seem to swear by Bag Balm, though, which costs considerably less and was originally intended for use on cows' udders. Cows' Udders!

I know that this stuff is already familiar to many of you, and there is no novelty factor. You should probably just leave now, because I am obsessed with this stuff today. Mrs. Rantwick has long known of this product and its many uses by humans. My excitement annoys her slightly because I'm acting like it is my special discovery. I like that, so I talk about the stuff even more just for her. Here is some of the cow-related info found on the tin:

"... for bunches, caked bags, cuts, sore teats, chapping and inflammation"

"Active Ingredients: 8-Hydroxyquinoline Sulfate 0.3% in a Petrolatum, Lanolin Base"

I have revelled in reading this kind of thing to Mrs. Rantwick and my children as only a pre-pubescent naughty boy should. I am a grown man, but not when I read this stuff... Caked bags! Sore teats! Hydroxyquinoline! HAHAHA hahahaha! I know how juvenile and lame that is, but I'm afraid I can't help it. Judge me, and punish me if you can! You are not the boss of me...

There are no instructions for my intended purpose, because the stuff is not marketed or approved for human use despite the fact that people have used it for a hundred years for all kinds of things.

I am tempted to add a couple of drops of Tea Tree Oil or Vitamin E or both just because I can never leave well enough alone, but I'll resist any mad scientist urges for now. Straight ahead Bag Balm is the stuff I'll be using in the hopes of preventing any more trouble. I would say wish me luck, but that would just be super weird and as you know I avoid being weird at all costs.

Wishing You All Glowing and Happy Udders,

R A N T W I C K


PS - I can't see myself as a cow without remembering this most excellent dinosaur head submission from Big Oak what seems like ages ago in 2009...

Driving Is Bad For Me

No, no, this time I'm not referring to the impotence.

I, like many cyclists, drive quite a lot too. In my case though, I almost never drive to work. Being a regular bike commuter allowed our family to go down from two cars to one and that has been a bonus. My sister is out of town this week and she gave me her vehicle, a small Land Rover, to drive while she was gone. Various circumstances including the fact that I have not yet replaced the broken blue tub and hate wearing a backpack have made it more convenient to drive in to work the last couple of days and the flexibility, ridiculous comfort and ease of driving a car again has been nice, but I find that I just don't feel right, particularly at work.

I must have become accustomed to the endorphin rush related to my morning exercise and commute, because I get to work and still feel almost as groggy as when I rolled out of bed, despite having had a shower and everything. I feel strangely full and unhealthy and almost depressed and there is no return home commute to snap me out of it. I'm pretty sure I'm not sick or anything, so all I can surmise is that driving to work (or, more accurately, not cycling to work) is now officially bad for me. That's cool for now because I love to ride.

What if I become too old or sick or both to do it (particularly in the winter) any more? I might just drop dead! I'm thinking I had better come up with some indoor alternative to cycling, you know, so I don't like, die if I have to stop for some reason. That will be tough, because I hate exercising. I like cycling, which just happens to be exercise by happy coincidence.

I know people, myself included, miss the bike when they can't ride for one reason or another, but this is the first time that I've experienced physical and mental blahs due to just missing a couple of days! I have a replacement tub waiting at home. It will be installed tonight, come hell or high water. This damn luxury and convenience is killing me.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

UK Cycling PSA - Bank Job

Quite a long time ago I posted this Awareness Test, a PSA from Transport for London that I thought was pretty cool. Well, today I ran across some more spots from the same people, the video below among them. I really like these PSAs because they are effective and fun without resorting to the shock tactics that can really put people off.

I like this one almost as much as the awareness test. There are more clips that are pretty good too and they can all be found here.

A final note: don't read the comments on the video's youtube page. It will just make you think the planet is stuffed full of chronically stupid people if you didn't think it already. Why is it that morons are to comment sections as moths are to flames? Please comment in the section below.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Kia Sportage Commercial - Share The Road

There is a car commercial that is airing (or aired) recently here in Canada that has me kind of intrigued. I have no idea if it has aired in any US  or European markets, so I figured I would post it and see what my very intelligent readers thought:

I find it encouraging and positive and manipulative and sort of ironic all at once, but I'll save the rest of my ramblings for the comments. Am I just being stupidly cynical about a perfectly good sign? What's your take? 

Yer Pal, R A N T W I C K

If You Were Riding the Bicycle #4 - Sidewalk Temptations

99.7% of the time, I don't ride on the sidewalk. I've got a couple of video clips, one from the summer and one from last week sometime...

When I review those clips, I find myself a little confused. Why am content to wait with the rest of the vehicles in one instance and not in another? I think the main reason is that in the first case I would have had to commit to staying on the sidewalk for quite a while because traffic was backed up, while in the second case it was more of a quick "ride around that garbage truck" kind of thing. In the first clip I was headed home from work near the end of my ride, but in the second I was going to work and near the beginning of it, so maybe the potential for lateness played a part too.

I don't believe that taking to the sidewalk is the right choice at any time, yet once in a long while I will do it anyway. When, if ever, does the temptation to ride on the sidewalk overcome you? Would you hit the sidewalk in order to overtake slow or stopped traffic?

What would you do if you were riding the bicycle?

R A N T W I C K

The Most High Tech Shoe Drying System Ever

I am fortunate in that I work with technology and have access to the latest in wet cycling shoe drying systems.

Among several choices I have most recently been favouring the HP 10642 G2 rack with dual HP Proliant DL380 G5 servers, although pretty much any servers will do since they all make heat and include good fans to move it away. In terms of heat generation, the more servers in the rack the better. These particular servers take up 2 rack units (or one shoe width) and the cable management cages at the back can be converted into to the optional shoe drying compartment very easily. Let's look at some pictures of this super efficient shoe drying marvel!

Here's the front view:

As is often the case, the real magic happens behind the scenes. Here's a view of the rack from the back:


My apologies... "cable management cage things" should read "Ambidextrous snap-on cable management arm and quick release levers". Sorry. Anyway, here's how it works:



See? I get to work with some pretty advanced shoe-drying equipment. I do not recommend infiltrating the computer rooms at your workplace and doing something like this on your own. Somebody will probably flip out on you. Ask somebody who is allowed access and is familiar with how it all works, however, and they may well be happy to help you out. Server racks are also ideal for drying wet clothing, but I have always found soaked shoes to be the bigger challenge.

Yer Pal, R A N T W I C K

PS - If you are thinking, "Holy Nerd!" at this moment, might I direct you to the source of my footprint graphic, a web site from a local Comp Sci professor named Stephen M. Watt from the University of Western Ontario?

I have no doubt whatsoever that this dude operates on an intellectual level well above, um, mine. I can also state with some confidence that he is a bigger nerd than I am. A bigger, more successful, smarter nerd that I envy, but a bigger nerd nonetheless.

PPS - I did not take Comp Sci at any time during my academic endeavours and I discovered this local guy's page while simply searching for images of footprints. Go and figger!

Loading the 2nd Best Tub in Town - Winter Prep

The time has finally arrived. No snow yet, but the mercury is dipping below freezing on a regular basis. It is time to awaken the mutant. Mutant Winter, I mean. Her bottom bracket sounded like hell (think broken marbles) by the end of last winter. I have swapped it out, replaced the chain, cleaned all the gunk out of the derailleur and she's ready to roll. Except for stocking the 2nd best tub in town.

Here's a little catalogue of what will go in there.

Batteries

Various batteries that fit my various lights. Especially with some of the super cheap lights that I use, this is important. They can fade to nothing super fast if they are so inclined. pic source

Zipper bags, plastic bags
A decent assortment of these will take care of all kinds of problems, from transporting wet clothes home to protecting your feet from soaked shoes or boots. pic source

Tools

The usual assortment... spare tube, CO2 inflator things (I think I want to switch to a mini hand pump... I can see myself screwing up somehow or other with the CO2 inflator things), hex wrenches, small crescent wrench, etc. I don't even know why I bother. If I flat or suffer some sort of serious mechanical failure, I would either call Mrs. Rantwick for a rescue or throw the bike on the rack of a bus before trying to fix it in sub zero temps. pic source

Spare Socks
Even totally soaked footwear is usable if you have dry socks and plastic bags to put over them. Spare socks can also double as mittens in a pinch. pic source

An Adorable Little Kitten
It is nice to travel with an adorable little kitten, but panniers or backpacks don't have the room to set up a comfy bed for it. The 2nd best tub in town does. If a motorist causes you to crash or wipe out, they may not care about you, but just watch their faces when you open the tub, carefully draw out this little darling and say, "what were you trying to do, kill my adorable little kitten?" Of course, it might be dead or injured, which will make them feel 10 times worse! Awesome. pic source

A Big Bottle of Whiskey
If I am using the bike path, there is always the possibility that I will crash and break both my legs while landing squarely on my cell phone, smashing it to bits. If that happens, I am going to need access to a big bottle of whiskey. It will either kill the pain until help arrives or assist me in freezing to death in style. I don't like transporting glass bottles along with the kitten, so I go with a cheap whiskey in a plastic bottle. Using a lovely single malt scotch or something to kill pain is an insult to the whiskey anyway. Note: My bottle of Canadian Whiskey will not say "imported" on it. pic source

A Flare Gun
Once I have consumed the big bottle of whiskey, I will, of course, need something to shoot at the kitten with. Don't worry, I won't hit it. pic source






Well, that's it! I hope some of you will benefit from my sharing. It is all about the journey, as they say, and I'm glad you are my travelling companions, because nobody else will talk to me for some reason.

Riding in Winter is Awesome. Try it.

R A N T W I C K

PS - If you were enjoying the first half of that post, sorry it went all sideways. I was looking at what I was writing and all I could see was blah blah blah blah blah. There is a ton of good information on winter riding out there without me rambling on about what I pack in the tub. If for some reason you want my specific opinion on something, please ask and I will be happy to help if I can.

4 Dollar Headlamp!

I was at the dollar store today and saw something I knew my kids already had, a cheap head-mounted LED light. Ever since I saw my kids' I had been wanting to try strapping one to my helmet, and today was the glorious day.

$2. How could I resist? Another $2 got me two sets of AAA batteries for it. It came with elastic straps for placing it on your head that actually worked pretty well. My helmet wouldn't sit properly wearing the light that way. I wanted to attach it to my helmet anyway, so I took the straps off.

I was left with this cute little Star Wars lookin' thing:


The black dot is a push button that lets me choose 1, 3, or 7 LED operation. For something so cheap, it is reasonably bright, certainly comparable with most of the "be seen" lights in the $20 range, plus the hinged design allows me to adjust its vertical angle.





Its base was a nice size and had a foam pad on it, intended for your forehead. I considered velcro, but thought that it may work itself loose. I love zip-tying things, but didn't want those plastic edges inside my helmet (although I doubt they would have bothered me). I was also hoping to keep this the cheapest light ever. The straps that came with were elastic and soft, so I just pulled a Gilligan and lashed it to my helmet with the shorter of the two.



It is actually attached very firmly and I don't think I left any way for it to unravel. Inside the helmet, just some soft cloth:


I've always wanted a helmet mounted light that would shine where I looked. $4 and 15 minutes went into getting this one! Now the question is whether this Dollar Store Crap will stop working right away or not. My kids' lights have lasted really well, so I have high hopes.

To anybody who ever doubted my total coolness, I say, "LOOK AT ME NOW"! I've got Dollar Store Crap strapped to my head and I'm happy about it. Case closed. I am infinitely awesome.

Keep burning brightly, everybody.

R A N T W I C K

Miracle Bike Upgrade

John Romeo Alpha of One Speed: Go! just posted a little something I thought was pretty darn good, because you know, it is often the simple things that work best.

Another reason I'm posting this is that his blog is always interesting because it is sometimes a little artsy (in a good way) and even makes you think once in a while...

The "T" is for Thinker.

Enjoy your Weekend,

R A N T W I C K

This Just In: Cycling Is Fun

The more time I spend immersed in cycling blog-o-land, the more I learn about how to ride better. Unfortunately, I also learn more about how cyclists are being treated unfairly in this or that place, which bums me out. I also find myself diving into the very complex world of cycling advocacy which, frankly, is a quagmire. Don't get me wrong; I think people working toward what they believe will make things better is important. If you take the time to look into such matters, you learn that there are many conflicting agendas among cycling advocates. In my opinion, the people who seem to be gaining the most ground right now are those interested in separating cyclists from other vehicular traffic. That bums me out too, because I have come to believe, through ongoing experience and careful reading of smart people's work, that I am better off (more safe) as part of the general traffic flow.

Some might say that if that is the case I should join the cause or fight or whatever and make my voice heard. Perhaps a better me would do so. However, I don't. I don't follow local developments and try to shape whatever our planners are cooking up. I don't affiliate myself with any cycling groups at all. This probably indicates that I am just selfish and lazy. All selfish and lazy people have highly developed rationalization skills. Here is my rationalization for not wanting to engage my community in these matters:

I love riding my bike. It brings me joy, soothes the spirit and feeds my soul, if you'll excuse the hippie-speak. Cycling is really Fun. It is fun even when I'm tangling with traffic. I don't want these things I value so highly to be diminished or watered-down by too many thoughts of how things should be. I'm having a great time just the way they are. I don't want every time I saddle up to represent a political act. In a life jam-packed with stuff to get done, I commute on my bike because it is a chance to have some fun, by myself, on the way to work and back.

So, this blog will remain a lightweight in terms of cycling advocacy. I'm finding that writing it and relating with the people who read it very fun too. Maybe someday I'll get burned by my own apathy, get ticketed for good riding practices or be forced to ride in lanes or paths by law. That would suck, for sure, but I guess it is a risk I'm willing to take, because right now, Cycling is Fun.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Metridiplomacy: I'm A Celsius Man

Canada began implementing the metric system in 1970, the year after I was born. Metrification, as carried out by a special government body, the Metric Commission, was not welcomed by all Canadians, no sir. It was a long process, and stuff like speed limit signs were in MPH well into the 70s. As such, most Canadians my age are quite fluent in both US and Canadian units of measurement. This is particularly true when it comes to measures of length, since most people here still refer to things like height and weight in feet, inches and pounds.

I have never heard anybody say "wow, it was like getting hit over the head by a 5X10!" (2"= 5.08cm, and 4"= 10.16cm). I wasn't planning on ranting in this post, but that last sentence reminds me of a pet peeve of mine. Why the hell do we and the lumber industry refer to cut lumber in its pre-planed dimensions? After the first time you figure out that a 2X4 is really a 1.5X3.5 it is not that big a deal, but when you are using materials to build or design something, why should you have to remember something like that, huh? I'm really glad bikes aren't made of wood; well, not usually anyway:

Speaking of bikes, American cyclists are probably among the more metriliterate US Citizens, since metric units on bikes and bike components are common. Most Americans, including cyclists, however, are not very likely to use metric in referring to temperature. Temperature is pretty much the only area in which I have been completely metrified. I have difficulty thinking in Fahrenheit. I know that 100F is a stinkin' hot day, and that 32F is freezing point, but otherwise I have to stop and use a converter or table when I write about how cold it was.

The lion's share of visitors to this blog are American, and I want the measurements to be relevant to them, but it is a pain in the butt to do the conversions because math is not a strong suit of mine and I can't do them on the fly in my head. I am no longer going to stop and convert the temps I write about into Fahrenheit, because I am lazy. So: What to do?

I have added the little table on the right so everybody can arrive at a ballpark understanding without having to do conversions. I tried some conversion javascripts out, but then my page warns about scripts when you load it (at least in IE), and I hate that. I only bothered with cold weather temps for now, since I don't refer to temperature much in summer.

C you later,

R A N T W I C K

Saddle Up: Pleasure and Pain at the US Patent Office

I've been browsing at the patent office again. Despite the title of this post, let's start with the pain. It would seem that some would prefer to sit while they stand!

Patent #7331595 - Auxiliary bicycle seat for stand-up uphill pedaling support

From the Abstract: An auxiliary hill climbing bicycle seat is formed from a T-shaped tubular structure attached, preferably by welding, to a bicycle cross bar. A narrow foam padding and a cover over the T-shaped pipe form a narrow auxiliary hill climbing seat positioned in front of the regular seat directly over the pedals in an elevated position higher than the regular seat.

I have just a couple of observations beyond the most obvious ones that include "oof!" and "why?" Once this thing is installed, how do you stop for a minute or get off your bike? Since it is installed preferably by welding, do you have one bike to get to the hill, and another to climb it? I have more questions, but I'm sure you do too. Let's move on to matters more pleasant.

Patent #7108667 - Bicycle saddle with vibrating massager

From the Abstract: An improved bicycle saddle having a shell which supports at least one battery operated vibrator. When the vibrator is energized, its vibration causes the shell and therefore the bicycle seat to vibrate. The vibrator has an on/off switch so that it may be turned on periodically by the rider to improve the comfort of the bicycle saddle.

I'm just gonna let you fill in the blanks here, because I can't think of much to say that wouldn't be beneath me and the lofty goals of this blog. Well, wait. Maybe I do want to say a couple of things. At least one?! How many seat-based vibrators does any one person need? Turned on periodically? I know if I decided to obtain such a magic bicycle saddle, I would have it on full blast, all the time, mm hmmm, oh baby... That is, of course, if something like this appealed to me.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K