Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Rare Smart Wino Cat!

My black cat Pumpkin is one of about five truly smart cats in the world, and loves red wine. Mrs. Rantwick and I have long enjoyed the inexpensive red wines of Chili, "Gato Negro" among them...

Pumpkin looks much like this cat and she is the first and only cat we've ever had (and we've had quite a few) with a taste for the grape. She is also abnormally intelligent for a cat. I say "for a cat" because cats are generally stupid.

Cat lovers everywhere are gonna hate me now, but sorry, it's true. Don't get me wrong; I love cats. I love dogs more, but cats are cool. They can be affectionate and warm and pleasant to stroke as though you are a super villain, plus they are easy to care for and don't flip out if you're gone for a couple of days. They are good at convincing humans like me to love and feed them, but I believe that is largely our own doing. Many people believe that cats kind of play "hard to get", which is why we fawn over them. I think the reality is that they simply don't have enough brains to do anything unrelated to their immediate physical needs. They're not aloof or feigning indifference; they just aren't thinking anything at all most of the time.

Anyway, turns out our smart cat Pumpkin, who surprised us by self-teaching herself to "sit" for a treat when she watched us working with the dog, is also a wino. Here's a video... you're gonna want the sound up, because you are also in for a musical treat.

Please know that Mrs. Rantwick had no involvement in the production of that wonderful video. She would never exploit the little Rantwicks or the cat in such a manner. She would never agree with me that cats are stupid either. I, however, am a bad parent who is cool with my children singing along with me about wine drinking cats. For the record, the Rantwick children quite like our creation and had fun doing it and so far Pumpkin sticks to licking the "legs" on the side of the glass and never dips right into the wine. In any case, we would never let her actually drink up. We do love her, after all.

I might post something worth reading sometime soon. Or not. Please come back and check.



Oldfool said...

I being a self professed cat psychology expert I believe you understand the "Cat".
Once when I lived remotely I had at one counting 32 cats including the kittens. That number fluctuated daily depending on the coyotes and pregnant pussy cats. It also depended on if they were sleeping on the car tires. Only one came in the house and that would be "Bilbo Baggins".
If you have children or cats having anything nice is never assured but who cares. Cats claw up your bike seat and kids spill their beer on your pillow. I've never eaten cat but I have thought of it.

Big Oak said...

"... a taste for the grape." I love it! Our cats don't like wine, but our dog likes beer.

cafiend said...

My family had a dog once, a Holy Terrier, who was quite fond of alcohol. One day he climbed up on the kitchen table and pushed a bottle of gin onto the floor. After it hit and shattered, he hopped down, lapped up the gin and started EATING THE GLASS. He lived about 14 years beyond that, through many other exploits.

Cats aren't stupid. They just know it's not worth the effort to try to explain things to you. ;-)

Steve A said...

Cats set the bar pretty low to be "abnormally intelligent." Good thing they have sharp claws or they'd be even further down the food chain...

Anonymous said...

Well that made me laugh out loud! By the way, if Pumpkin goes missing, it wasn't me!

(..er.. my profile states one of my interests as "pumpkin abductions!")

RANTWICK said...

Oldfool - Maybe you could cook up a Thanksgiving cat this year... got any plump ones?

Big Oak - Yep. Our dogs have liked beer too.

Cafiend - Next time I'm a bar I think I'll ask for gin in a shattered glass.

Steve A - I don't know, they do seem to have those 9 lives despite all...

PA - Cat abducter! Cat abducter! No, wait... gourd abducter! Gaaah!

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