Friday, November 5, 2010

Are You #%^&1n' Kiddin' Me #4

This time I'm not on about a single product or advertisement, but rather an advertising trend. 3D. As most of you may have noticed, 3D movies are once again a big deal. TV makers are now offering 3D models. 3D is where its at.

My problem isn't with that stuff, although I have found most 3D stuff as underwhelming as it ever was. My problem is the application of a "3D" badge to things that just don't make sense.

I bought this stuff the other day because it was on sale. The 3D thing bugged me but I figured there would be some explanation on the label somewhere. There wasn't. So, like anyone with a little sprinkle of OCD and a dash of crabbiness, I went looking for an explanation online.

Henkel, the makers of Right Guard, explained a little on their UK web site: "Right Guard's high performance 3D formula provides three dimensions of protection: It fights perspiration, prevents odour and releases freshness throughout the day for maximum confidence." Well, at least there was some feeble attempt at justifying the 3D thing. Strangely, I didn't see any such ad copy on the North American site. Just this: "Right Guard Sport 3D Odor Defense provides 24 hour protection, sweat blockers, and odor blockers." OK then.

As a side note, I learned that the makers of Right Guard and Soft&Dry also make industrial adhesives and sealants, Loctite among them. Huh! Hope they never have a mix up at the plant!

Already having a chip on my shoulder about my 3D antiperspirant, I then saw this ad for Crest 3D Whitestrips:

Never mind the fact that I hate commercials that use weddings and wedding dresses and all that emotionally loaded crap to sell stuff. Once again, I just wanted some sort of rationale for the "3D" thing that I didn't get.

So, once again, off to the web site! I found a link there called The 3D White Story . Excellent! Surely that would explain the 3D thing! Well, no, not really. Or at all. Like the Right Guard stuff, they did mention three things right off the top, but didn't even use the word "dimensions".

"What is a 3D White Smile?

A 3D White smile is a smile that turns heads. It’s magnetic, alluring, and most importantly, attainable."

In fact, I used Google to search the entire site for the word "dimensions" or "dimension" and got nothing.

Did you know you could search an individual web site using Google? I didn't until recently when I saw a friend of mine do it. Use the following syntax in the Google search box:


So anyway, I'm ticked that companies are slapping "3D" on things without really even trying to explain how it might specifically apply to that thing any more than other things. Because physical objects, including health and beauty products, are all in 3D. My house is full of 3D furniture, I ate 3D toast this morning and rode my 3D bike to work today. My kids are in glorious full motion high definition 3D, sharply displayed in every conceivable colour available to the human eye. 3D antiperspirant and toothpaste? Are You #%^&1n' Kiddin' Me?

It is a very good thing that bicycles are in 3D. I mean, imagine the wedgie...



Anonymous said...

I prefer Xtreme products over 3D ones.

Alexwarrior said...

This comment is 3D!

RANTWICK said...

Anon - I suspect Xtreme 3D is just around the corner. We can have it all.

Alex - Stop that! It was like it was coming right at me...

Apertome - Glad you like 'em. I chose them because I thought they were cool... the only ads I don't have complete control over are the adsense ones at the very bottom of the sidebar.

RANTWICK said...

Apertome - Sorry, but I've removed your comment because advertisers can be pretty strict about how people arrive at their site from mine, and I don't know if those links would have been OK.

John Romeo Alpha said...

I'm listening to my HD radio at the moment, preparing to go and shave with my High Definition razor, using my Fusion-powered shaving lotion, then following up with my Intensive Treatment Double Action Magnum aftershave.

RANTWICK said...

JRA - I think you my drift, as usual. Yee-haw!

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