Remember how I did this tree contest thing forever ago and some people won prizes and stuff? I finally put together the packages and they're ready to ship. The prizes are not as promised, however. I am a stinking liar. The best syrup I could come up with this year was good old Medium. The breadcrumbs I promised turned out to have expired and were thrown out. At least I made good on the crappy homemodified trophy...
Congrats again to Josh, with an honourable mention for RCT. On May 8, 2013, my 2012 Autumn Tree Smackdown is finally over. It took me so long it has given me pause about doing 4ARATS, the 4th Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown. I know myself, however. Come Fall I will begin checking on the King of Autumn and begin wondering how your trees are looking, and God Help Me, I'll have to do it again.
Yer Procrastinational Pal,
R A N T W I C K
PS - Procrastinational is not a real word (I don't think). I have unilaterally decided to stop caring what words are real and use any I feel like. That may drive some of you crazy, but you'll just have to find your inner relaxitude.
Signs are everywhere. We are bombarded with signs both "official" and freestyle every single day. As some may remember, I am a great noticer of signs. I mean, there's this kind of thing:
Or intriguing, less formal messages:
Or messages that seem a little sinister:
Yesterday I took my daughter to physio (stubborn sprained ankle, getting better) at the Fowler Kennedy sports clinic at the University of Western Ontario. I was just hanging around outside people watching and feeling incredibly nostalgic (I went there) and old when I saw a small sign, partly obscured by undergrowth, behind the Ivey Business School. Being a curious, sign-noticing kind of person, I moved in for a closer look.
The sign was basically a "Don't Walk Here" or "Keep Out" kind of thing, yet managed to be so much more:
A tiny, hidden sign on a three foot post with a sad bend on the corner. A remarkably detailed, polite (dare I say erudite?) message that you could only find on a University campus, defiantly protecting a tiny triangle of trees on a vast, busy property teeming with clueless oafs who would happily trample understorey growth and tree seedlings. Remember Rat Trap Press' FARATS-winning "Charlie Brown Tree"?
That sign felt like a nerdy, wonderful "Charlie Brown Sign" to me. I really liked it.
Speaking of trees, I grabbed a pic of the King of Autumn the other day. He's still pretty green, but I have a good feeling that he will ROCK this year and smoke the competition in the Second Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown (SARATS)!
Can you see it? He's got his game-face on for sure. If trees had teeth, his would be gnashing, baby. You better get looking for a good entry now.
The Autumn Tree Smackdown is becoming much more real for many of us. No submissions yet, but that is to be expected. The King, for example, remains green while close neighbours get down to business. I know he'll come through. Or I hope so. Because I want to keep the awesome prize (the one I don't have yet) for myself.
For those of you who are thinking, "well I guess that's fitting; kind of boring, though", the maple syrup I mean to acquire is something else. Most people have tried real maple syrup before. It is fantastic in almost any grade, from the heavier Ambers all the way up. The vast majority of syrup sold in little gift bottles (like the one pictured above) here in Canada is "Canada #1 Medium" grade. What I'm talking about for the prize is Canada #1 Extra Light maple syrup. For a listing of Canadian maple syrup grades, click here, but don't believe the "Uses" column. More on that in a sec.
I hope I'll be able to find some local stuff. It is quite possibly the most exquisite thing I have ever tasted. We've only ever had a bottle in the Rantwick household once. I consumed most of it while researching the best way to enjoy it, the results of said research I am happy to share with you now.
In my opinion, putting Canada #1 Extra Light on something is an insult to the syrup. Unless that something is some sort of uberpancake that doesn't exist. Or does it? Anybody got an uberpancake recipe?
Anyway, I have come to believe that the best way to enjoy this stuff is cold from the fridge, sipped straight from the bottle or for the more hygienic among you, from a teaspoon. More than one teaspoon per hour is a waste and disrespectful. I know I'm a weirdo, but to me it seems the closest I've ever been to consuming some sort of supernatural "essence of tree"... if you love trees like I do, that is a powerful statement. Wish me luck as I try to find some from around here. I don't even know if anybody will have stock, since Spring is the season for harvesting.
Stay tuned for more fascinating tree news,
R A N T W I C K
PS - From those of you living in Maple country in the USA, I hope the opportunity to compare is appealing, if the prize less than exciting.
Those of us in the know have begun using the FARATS acronym to save time, which is, as far as I know, the point of acronyms. What it stands for is "First Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown", a contest that began with the comments on a 2009 Autumn tree post calledThe King of Autumn.
Steve A ofDFW Point-to-Pointhas submitted his entry after much promising and asking me to wait for Texas weather to catch up with normal people's. Apparently it has, because he has submitted this excellent photo featuring flags, smooth pavement, a bike and, um, a tree:
Thanks all for your entries so far. You know, I love that I can write this blog, ask people to send me pictures for pretty much no reason other than for kicks, and they (you) do! It is so much fun! Don't ever change (unless you are evil),
As the deadline for FARATS (First Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown) entries approached, I figured I had received all the entries I was gonna get. Then I got this email and entry from Sir Wallace, aka a-dude-I-won't-use-the-full-name-of-just-in-case-he-wouldn't-like-that. Here it is:
Sir Wallace sez: The name of my tree is Lady Guinevere, as she was (apparently) the only one standing after all of all of the knights of the round table perished. This was the ONLY tree left with colour when I went out to take pics.
Anyone who is reading about this for the first time might think Sir Wallace a little odd with all this "Knights and Ladies" stuff, but I started it with naming my tree the King of Autumn and inviting pretenders to the throne, usurpers, etc.
I was super pleased to get this late entry... it made the December deadline kind of worth it. Now those of you who haven't entered but were thinking about it have one last chance to make it EVEN MORE worth it!
LAST CALL FOR FOLIAGE Y'ALL!
The "y'all" is dedicated tothe twisted Texans who choose to read this blog despite its decidedly Canadian (maple-y) flavour. I love you guys and gals, especially when you make worthwhile attempts at getting good fall tree pictures despite being at a distinct disadvantage in terms of foliagity. Yes, "foliagity" is now a word, because I used it and at least one person (you, I bet) understood my meaning. I feel like a God. I Make Words.
If you are reading this, have a tree pic suited to my contest and don't get it in before (or on) Wednesday, December 15, 2010, you will likely regret it for the rest of your life. Or for several really glum seconds. Depends on the person, you know?
Thursday December 16, the post featuring all entries and a method of voting for them will go up. Voting will end at 12:01 AM January 4, 2011. I chose that date because it gives people a chance to recover from new year's hangovers, return to work and start wasting time online again. Some people, you see, stop goofing off on the Internet and enjoy their families and stuff over the holidays. Other people, like me, will be riveted by the voting action on FARATS and pay attention to their loved ones when it is more convenient.
Can you feel the Holiday JoyJoys Yet? Try harder. I mean it. Get Happy, Now! But No Pressure, Really. Except from those you care for. Pressure from them.
July 18? That can't be the last time I posted here! Holy crap, man! I mean, like, I stopped posting for a while and Donald Fucking Trump got elected President of the United States of America. W T F. PREVIOUSLY POSTED POLITICAL RANT REDACTED.
When I originally posted this I was a little more judgy and ranty than usual. There's plenty of bad vibe political stuff out there and I really don't need to be piling on like that, so sorry. More than ever, I think I need to revert to my usual cycle joy joy ways. Also, I will try to remember that a few beers go a lot further than they used to with me these days, if you catch my drift.
Speaking of things we don't speak of, however, I had a stroke about eight months ago that I swore I wouldn't mention again. I remain committed to not making this blog about stroke, but as many of my readers may have figured at the time, I won't be able to talk about myself (the single most important human ever) without talking about stroke. Mine was a hemorrhagic, not ischemic, which makes me a stroke weirdo, really. Anything I have to say doesn't apply to most stroke victims.
When I went into rehab, my singlemost important goal was riding again. I'm doing it on a regular basis now and have been since mid summer, but it drains me in a way it never did before. That said, I still love it and continue to ride as much as I can, usually to work and back on my new super duper bike of sick obsessive buildy love.
I've got some overdue pics of The King and some video I hope to post soon, but for now I hope it is enough that I've touched base. If you're reading this, I Love You. If you're reading this and have read this blog before, I Love You Even More.
Writing about this bridge the other day made me want to go see if it was open yet, and it is! You would have to live here to get it, but that little walking bridge being closed was really quite a pain in the ass for a great many people. Now it is finally back and it is better than ever.
It used to be two narrow wooden walkways that made villains out of cyclists that didn't dismount and walk. I was one of them, although most times I wouldn't even try to pass any pedestrians and ride at walking speed. Here's some video of the old bridge, when it was used to make impromptu music...
Then a cocoon was made for it...
So it could emerge sometime recently as something better. A new, wide bridge with all the charm of the old one and then some...
Still wooden, still stick-music ready and nice and wide. It was worth the wait. To all those who worked on it, from planning to execution, thank you. It is great.
I used to have a cycling computer on my bike. Somewhere along the way I lost the little magnet bit that goes on a spoke... ah yes, I remember! The bike was stolen and the magnet stolen with it! It was my own damn fault; I left the bike unlocked on the porch. Who wouldn't take an unlocked bike of medium quality off of somebody else's porch, really? Anyway, I didn't bother to get a new magnet thing, partly because I am lazy and partly because I thought the computer was taking away from the pleasures of riding. I couldn't keep my eyes or paws off of it, and I was becoming fixated on things like average speed and total distance. When I was using the computer, I remember wishing that it was the kind that measured cadence (rpm), which is in my opinion one of the more useful numbers you can get out of such things.
What cadence you ride at is a matter of personal choice, of course; people ride at all different rpms for many different reasons and purposes. Many cyclists espouse higher cadences for greater fitness and efficiency, but like I said, how you turn your crank is your business. Anyway, if you have an interest in what your cadence is, you don't need a computer to figure it out. I still don't have a cycling computer, but I have developed a system of cadence computation that works really well, and I would like to share it with you.
Step 1 - Counting:
While pedalling your bike, choose a foot and start counting every time it hits the bottom of the downstroke. You may count silently or aloud. I find that counting quite loudly works best, and helps clear busy multi-use pathways much better than an "on your left". Listen to the counting, and pretend that you are playing hide and seek and that you are 'it'.
Step 2 - Classify Yourself:
If you were one of the kids running off to hide, what would you think of the counting? Here are 5 main types of "counters" to help guide you in your cadence computation exercise:
Type 1: The Fair Kid
If you sound like the fair kid, your cadence is around probably 60 rpm or less, so if you were looking to ride for fitness or calorie burning or are an aspiring racer, either gear lower or step it up.
Type 2: The Competitive Seeker
If you are the Competitive Seeker type of cyclist, you are pedalling between 90 and 110 rpm, a good range for fitness and many other riding situations. If your goal was to really spin, however, you want to sound like our next Counting Type...
Type 3: The Big Fat Cheater
If you are a Big Fat Cheater (in a cycling cadence sense only, of course) you are spinning around 120 or even more... keep it up, and you will be the king or queen of spin, likely developing a smoother pedal stroke and sexy, supple leg muscles! Oooh baby.
Type 4: The Speed Freak
If your cadence count sounds like the Speed Freak, stop counting and get control of yourself and your bike, you maniac!
Type 5: The Confused Little One
If you sound like this, for the love of God, get off your bicycle and walk home if you can. You, my cycling friend, are drunk.
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K
PS: While searching for hide and seek videos, I found this slightly disturbing tidbit, and y'know, why not share my mild discomfort?
If you came here hoping to hear about or see gross pictures of a crusty human eye, you're pretty weird, man. It would seem that I titled this post like that just so I could insult you when you got here, so I guess I'm pretty weird too. Welcome! This post is really just about my camera, and promises to be very boring, so leave now if you can.
It is a small miracle that the handlebar-mounted camera that I use to get video of my rides continues to work. If there is actual precipitation going on I cover it with my custom waterproof shell:
Many winter days, however, it is out in the open, the better to see you with. Two days ago I took a look at the lens and was surprised how much dried salty stuff was on it. I should have taken a picture of it then, but I just cleaned it off. Upon inspecting my camera lens again this morning, I was once again surprised how dirty it was, especially since I had only taken one short ride to work since cleaning it last:
Dave, could you please remove the crud from my eye? Could you, Dave? I'm afraid I can't do that myself, Dave.
click image to see full size version
That salty crud just floats in the air around traffic when the streets are even a little wet, as they are much of the winter here in London Ontario. I wonder if salty crud road mist is good or bad for my lungs? You know, "salty crud road mist" kind of strikes me as a good band name or Interpretive Dance title or something... I'm going to work out some cool new age music and choreography as soon as I'm finished this post, I think, because as you know high art is what I'm really all about.
Well, I know that if you're reading this sentence that you either found the preceding content fascinating (in which case you are seriously understimulated) or are resenting me for wasting your time, in which case join the club because I resent myself even more. I mean, you only had to read it. I actually spent precious time thinking about and typing it. Hmph. See you later, I hope.
1-2-3, 1-2-3... and step, and turn... cue the Crusty Squirrel King! Yes, yesss...
Well, here he is for this year. This constitutes my official not-allowed-to-win-the-prize SARATS entry:
Speaking of pictures that aren't allowed to win, Ryan from St. Catharines Ontario sent me a link to this outstanding photo. Try as I might, I couldn't get blogger to use the flickr link properly and display it here on my blog.
Since it features many trees instead of one obvious star power tree, it will not be entered in the smackdown, but man, do I ever like it.
I have received another entry, but I'm gonna save it for Monday.
I was reviewing some video files, wondering why I kept them, when I came across some footage of a poor lost Mixte. It was leaning, unlocked, against a tree. It had flat tires. Stolen and dropped? Drunkenly used and abandoned as "broken"? It was an Eaton Road King. Eaton's was once the biggest and best department store in Canada and is missed by many of us... at least those of us who remember it. It went under in 1999. Anyway, here it is:
I was riding to work and had no time to think about what should be done. It was a lovely Mixte in nice condition save the flat tires. Beyond that, it was a bit of Canadiana of a variety that is beginning to vanish quickly. After work, I looked for it and sure enough it was gone. If it had still been there, I would have debated with myself about whether I should take it. God knows few would love and restore it the way I would have. Is taking an abandoned, flat-tired bike stealing? I don't know. I just hope whoever picked it up knows what it is and treats it accordingly. The park where it was left is literally right beside a scrap metal yard. I shudder to think. $%^%$*!! I should have saved (stolen) it.
******
I started this post thinking that it would start and end with my sadness about this bike, but as I wrote I got to thinking: Why is it I can get all emotional about a derelict bike, a thing, one of trillions of manufactured things floating around the world, yet drive or ride by a derelict person without a second thought? Things are easy, I guess. People are hard. Perhaps one day I'll grow into somebody who is better at loving and restoring more than bikes. Wish me luck, and sorry for getting all heavy.
I love my job. I mean, wonder in print where Canadian trees are, receive one next day. Plus another Aussie. Crazy. Crazy, I say!
Let's start with Michael from Ridgeville, Ontario, Canada. For those unfamiliar, Ridgeville is near Niagara Falls. If you are unfamiliar with Niagara Falls, well, look it up, 'cause the Falls are AWESOME. Literally.
Michael confused me with his email, which had the subject line A Cajun Tarats Entry... Michael appears to try to explain how Cajun = Canadian in a PS that I didn't quite grasp. Of course, the Cajuns in the USA are descendants of the Acadians found in our Maritime regions, so it's all good anyway. For a change I didn't have to look anything up on this one, since my last name is Cormier and I am part Acadian myself, which makes me a Canadian Cajun of sorts. You follow? Don't matter none, I gare-on-tee. Let's move onta the email:
Good Morning Mr. Rantwick,
Attached is a photo of a tree that I believe is worthy of consideration for the grand prize in the 2012 Autumn Tree Smackdown.
If you look closely, you will see (you WILL) that the tree has, in fact is covered with, leaves. Now, this might not seem special to the untrained photo viewer. And, well, I suppose it is not. But it seems rather special to me for several reasons.
1. It not longer has leaves. Not even one! As far as I know this is the only documentation of this tree ever having leaves on it. Or at least having leaves that are red, orange and yellow. At least from this year... in October... and... um... on a Saturday... afternoon... while it was sunny... and... at lunch hour... while I was watching... with my son.
Yes! It is absolutely one of a kind! There is not other photo like it. In fact, with the possible exception of the other entries that are better, this is the best autumn tree photo in your contest taken by me! What more reason could there be?
It might also be the entry that is closest to the place of residence of the submitter. I can see this tree from my front window (living around the corner). Well, sure, I would have to cut down several of the other not-so-smakdowniness trees that are in the way. I would also have to bulldose a few neighbors' houses. But I can see it!
Surely this makes it deserving of the Maple Syrup prize. mmm... Maple Syrup... and not the "crumby" kind either!
Cheers!
Michael
P.S. some of us cajuns have difficulty with words longer than two syllables, so we are cajun, but not Cajun.
Well, Michael has certainly put me on the spot. In a sticky situation, if you will. You see, I had determined that I was not going to give out a maple syrup prize this year. Michael's somewhat odd and enthusiastic email, however, has made me reconsider. The winner of my contest will receive:
1) The right to crown their tree King of Autumn 2012 (uncontested by me).
2) A used trophy modified to somehow illustrate that fact. The winner will undoubtedly display it with great pride in their home or workplace.
3) A tiny bottle (unlike last year, which was a bigger bottle) of the best maple syrup ever, Jakeman's Canada #1 Extra Light. This magic substance should not be wasted. Keep it cold in the fridge and savour it by the teaspoon. In my opinion, putting it on or in things is a waste. More here.
Since I'm going back to tiny bottles, I'm considering runner-up syrup prizes as well. Considering. It all depends how you people behave over the next month or so (hehe, take that, my little ones).
Hey, wait, I forgot to show Michael's tree!
Thanks, Michael! Powerful little tree you got there!
Hey, this post has kind of run on, so I'm going to bail now and do a separate post about Vicki's tree from Newcastle, NSW, Australia next! I love the Internet! People from about as far away from me as you can get on this planet are sending me tree pictures! It's just so cool!
I'm at work right now, eating lunch and wishing I hadn't run out of the house without any cams or picture files to add to this post. Some of you may be encouraged to know that the dry weather has created a less than impressive King this Autumn. I mean, he looks good, but the pic doesn't have "winner" written all over it either.
I hope some of you have seen some good trees to enter, or even not so good ones... you never know how my judges will vote! For those of you who have not found an individual tree to showcase, maybe you could get away with cropping a picture of a bunch of trees to isolate a good one. I'm getting a little nervous that I won't get enough entries this year.
As you may be aware, I have decided not to run an Autumn Tree Smackdown this year. I was feeling a little bad about it. However, a Fellow Foliage Freak is coming to the rescue for all of those awesome foliage pics looking for a home. Less structured than my contest but every bit as appealing (at least to me) is anniebikes'2013 Foliage Challenge.
If you were thinking of sending me any pics, don't. Send them to Annie, so all that leafy goodness can be found in one place. It is my sincere hope that The King will simply subjugate any and all other submissions, because when it comes to Autumnal splendour, it is all about domination, right? Right.
R A N T W I C K
