I'm Seeing Red.

In last year's Autumn Tree Smackdown I received my first entry on October 12. This year it seems to me the trees in London are peaking a little sooner. The King, for example, is getting close to maximum crimson:

 

 

If I can catch him in the right light, I think he's got a good chance of "winning"; although I won't allow myself to win the contest. If he garners the most votes, the runner-up will win the awesome second-hand Rantwick-modified Trophy of Arboreal Distinction naming the tree King Of Autumn, 2012. I have also just decided to throw in a tub of breadcrumbs.

 

The "real" winner of FARATS (long story) was yellow/orange:

 

 

 

 

SARATS was won by a well-lit red tree:

 

 

 

What robes will the new King (or Queen) wear as he (or she) ascends the throne? Only time will tell.

 

Having seen these images, I'll bet you know of a tree that could be a contender. Don't wait! Get out there and get that picture! Hover around that tree, day after day, hoping to get the best damn foliage picture EVER! Or, snap a pic of it on your way by with a crappy old phone while riding your bike over bumps. I don't care! I want submissions, (click here for rules) and I'm getting nervous. I want to beat last year's record of 18 real bad.

 

 

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

TARATS is a SMACKDOWN

I feel like there wasn't nearly enough fanfare about TARATS (the Third Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown) in my initial post. I mean, this isn't about a bunch of tree huggers taking pictures and being all nice, you know. This is a SMACKDOWN. With Autumn trees. And the people are usually kind of nice and some may actually hug trees on a regular basis. But make no mistake, people, it IS a SMACKDOWN.

I have decided that the prize will be something else entirely this year. The winning tree will be crowned 2012's King (or Queen, if you want) of Autumn, a title formerly reserved for my perennial favourite (pun intended) alone! A used Trophy from some thrift shop, hand-modified by yours truly, will be sent to the lucky soul who captures for posterity the image of the most majestic juggernaut of Autumn leafy joy witnessed this year! It's gonna be AWESOME! Click HERE for rules and stuff.

Since this is a SMACKDOWN, I strongly encourage all entrants to talk as much over-the-top trash as possible (all in good fun, of course) and demoralize their opponents if they can. Let me get things started:

I stopped by to visit the King of Autumn this morning and let me tell you, he looked good. Green, but obviously gearing up for this year's competition:

Can you see that? He's flexing his foliage! What? What? You don't see it? Look again, and be very afraid of my tree, baby. He's gonna chew you all up and keep the title of King of Autumn all for his majestic unbeatable self:

That, for those of you that don't recognize it, is proper SMACKDOWN talk. I hope it puts you in the mood to bring some badass fall foliage action this way...

Share this image with yer friends and let's get ready to leaf it up, hard!

R A N T W I C K

PS - I know I am ridiculous. It's fun. I also think that "poster" qualifies as a WTF attack... cool.

The Third Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown!

Last years winner from JAT in Seattle

Attention, foliage fans, the Third Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown, North America's premier fall-foliage-posted-on-an-obscure-website competition, is looking for your best tree pictures once more. Keep your eyes peeled and send your pics to my email address (rantwick at gmail dawt com) with the subject line "TARATS". Oh, and use the Like and Tweet links or that Google +1 thing on the left to tell your friends! I want to break last year's record of 18 trees in the smackdown. As always, I will enter the King of Autumn but can not win the contest.

 

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, you may wish to review the many posts from the first and second years of my contest, or just read the following rules:

 

 

1) Your entry should should feature 1 or if necessary just a few trees featuring an obvious star-power tree. This is a Tree Smackdown, not a "forest face-off" or "copse competition".

 

2) Since I hope to continue to run this competition annually, your picture should be of a tree from this 2012 Autumn season.

3) Your picture should be one you took yourself. Including some information about where the tree is from in your submission would be appreciated.

4) Your tree can be from anywhere you like. PaddyAnne from Vancouver won with a tree from New York. If you snap it, you can send it.

5) Submissions are due by midnight, Dec 15, 2012 EST. I wait so long because many of my readers seem to come from the Southern (United) States.

 

I think I'm going to offer a new prize this year. Maple syrup is great, but I'm kind of tired of writing about it. Also, I am told a change is as good as a rest. As usual I am also undecided about how a winner will be selected at this time... I might just decide it all by myself. What do you think? Was the voting thing fun last year? Should I try to collect video votes again? Should I open voting up to the online masses and hope nobody finds a way to mess with the results? Any other bright ideas?

 

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

I Am A Blogging King!

You know, people start blogging for all kinds of reasons. Some people find it theraputic. Some have some sort of agenda or message they're trying to promote. Some just enjoy writing so much that they just do it for fun. All of those reasons apply to me to some degree, but my real reason for blogging for over three years now has been something else entirely. FREE STUFF.

I hadn't been reading BSNYC and Fat Cyclist for very long before I noticed that bicycle companies were sending them FREE STUFF to review or whatever. I wanted FREE STUFF for myself and so began writing this blog. It has been a long road, but I Have Arrived.

At first I thought it was too good to be true when I received an email from a VP of a company who has had its products written about here on Rantwick.

From his email:

Thanks for the post on ___ _____ ______! Always interesting to get a new pairs of eyes looking at our product.

Would like to send you off a couple of samples...  

That was on May 2. Yes, those words shone like gold on my computer screen. I was pumped, but suspicious. Would they REALLY send me FREE STUFF, or were they just getting my address so they could send me the legal papers necessary to sue me? Or, worse, send hired goons?

The tone of the email was friendly and I was confident that all would be well. Still, I resolved not to write of it until the FREE STUFF had actually arrived just in case. Brothers and Sisters, that time has come!

I've had a really bad cold the past few days and was at home when the package arrived; nice because normally we have to drive out to a pickup place.

Medium sized box. Whatever might it contain?

Some of you may recall a post from a couple of months ago about Maple Syrup and Bread Crumbs. That's right, the good people from SunPac Foods sent me 6 (6!) tubs of Bread Crumbs and a dozen bottles of various Juices! Suck on that, BikeSnobNYC. Eat my dust, Fat Cyclist. You enjoy all your free bike stuff (italicized with a sneering tone) and I'll discover a great many ideal uses for bread crumbs while enjoying chilled juice that may help with my cold.

Please brace yourself for a bit of content shift here on Rantwick... I'm thinking that now it will be mostly about beer and Maseratis. If you're thinking "Maseratis? Why not uber-racing-bikes?", I get you, but I also know I have at least some chance of making a Maserati perform at its best, if you get my drift (pant, pant, wheeze).

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - Steve A left a comment on the first Bread Crumb post which read "Are bread crumbs merely uncooked croutons or are they something more?" The dude who emailed me had this to say in his email: "And….Crumb is very different than croutons!" So there you have it, Steve. Ball is in your court. Learn what those differences are, man.

PPS - If you have some sort of recipe in which bread crumbs play a large part, please send it my way. I just might make it and post about making it here on the blog. Now that I'm a BIG DEAL in the bread crumb world, you would be made famous by association!

PPPS - I wasn't being honest at the beginning of this post. I didn't start writing this blog in order to get free stuff. Am I insane, or does the fact that when I do get free stuff it turns out to be bread crumbs seem kind of fitting somehow? I mean, the way this blog is and everything? Bread crumbs are perfect, don't you think?

PPPPS - I don't really have a PPPPS. Just looking to set a new record.

PPPPPS - Smashed it.

SARATS Entry #4

Cafiend of Citizen Rider has sent me his SARATS entry. His email:

Imagine this one with all its leaves and better lighting. I never seem to catch it at its best when I have the camera and time to stop.

Cafiend, my man, of course I can relate. Missing the King at his best started this whole contest thing! Thanks very much for your entry... I can see how that tree could be a killer. I also think it has been a pretty tough year for catching a tree at its best for many of us. Into the contest it goes!

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

2011's King of Autumn

Well, here he is for this year. This constitutes my official not-allowed-to-win-the-prize SARATS entry:

Speaking of pictures that aren't allowed to win, Ryan from St. Catharines Ontario sent me a link to this outstanding photo. Try as I might, I couldn't get blogger to use the flickr link properly and display it here on my blog.

Since it features many trees instead of one obvious star power tree, it will not be entered in the smackdown, but man, do I ever like it.

I have received another entry, but I'm gonna save it for Monday.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Stranded Without SARATS Selection

I'm at work right now, eating lunch and wishing I hadn't run out of the house without any cams or picture files to add to this post. Some of you may be encouraged to know that the dry weather has created a less than impressive King this Autumn. I mean, he looks good, but the pic doesn't have "winner" written all over it either.

I hope some of you have seen some good trees to enter, or even not so good ones... you never know how my judges will vote! For those of you who have not found an individual tree to showcase, maybe you could get away with cropping a picture of a bunch of trees to isolate a good one. I'm getting a little nervous that I won't get enough entries this year.

Yer Pal, R A N T W I C K

SARATS Disease

I will never enter any tree other than The King in my Autumn Tree Smackdown, for good or ill. Still, now that SARATS season has rolled around, I notice individual trees more than I normally would, so much so that I'm beginning to see things.

For example, this tree looked like it was doing a "Don King":

You know, Don King, the Boxing Promoter?

Can you see it?

How about now?

Hmmm. Judging by that little episode perhaps it would be OK if SARATS season went by quickly.

As I finished this post I thought, "Oh no, what if Don King recently died or something? That would be in pretty bad taste." It has happened before on this blog. Just so youse all know, Don King is alive and presumed well (no mention of anything on wikipedia, anyway) at the age of 80. No freaky foliage faux pas today, my friends! 

Yer Pal, R A N T W I C K

A True SARATS Threat

I visited The King on my way home yesterday. He's showing signs of change. It's too early to tell, but if he suits up in Orangy Yellow like the first time I wrote about him, look out. Here he is:

Thanks to my being less active on the blog, I fear there may be fewer submissions this year, which only increases your chances of winning a smallish (but not tiny like last year) jug of the best maple syrup I've ever had. What follows is an excerpt from the 2010 contest:

I won't lie... when I located the prize I also bought some for myself. I have tasted it and it is everything I had hoped. Jakeman's has been voted best tasting maple syrup in Canada in recent years and always places in the top ranks of most maple syrup ranker's rankings. So, the prize is a small amount (100 mL, 3.4 fl. oz.) of pure Canada #1 Extra Light maple syrup (click here to see how freaky I am about it) from one of Canada's top producers, located only about 30 minutes from my home of London Ontario.

 

This year the prize will be 500 mL of that same outstanding tree nectar.
 

If you're not a totally selfish maple prize freak though, you may want to tell your foliage lovin' friends. Now that I no longer participate in facebookizing or tweetilating, maybe you could do it on my behalf. Or send some emails. Or bring SARATS up at dinner parties, club rides, drug orgies, political demonstrations, church gatherings, whatever. I just wanna see some trees. If you know of some website where foliage rules, let me know, and I'll try to invite even more people.

Stay Leafy, R A N T W I C K

PS - If my impartial panel of judges (whom you will all see when the time comes) chooses The King as the best tree, I would of course award the prize to 2nd place. If you couldn't tell, I've got a good feeling about The King this year.

Leave Your Car at Work Day

I'll bet you didn't know that Sunday September 18 was International Leave-Your-Car-At-Work-You-Stupid-Fool day!

The Rantwick family got a second car in June. Work has demanded that I drive during the day over the last couple of months. My cycling commute trips have plummeted. I've been feeling crummy physically and I swear my brain doesn't work as well when I don't get my alone time on the bike. I was bummed out until I had a pretty good idea, I think.

Yesterday I attached the bike rack to the car, drove it to work and left it there, riding my bike home. I intend to leave it there all the time. I will commute to and from work on the bike and use the car for work or child-related "emergencies" as needed. I notified those who might be tempted to tow a crappy car that was sitting overnight in the parking lot all the time that they shouldn't do that. I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!

Today I enjoyed an Autumn morning commute that reminded me of all I had been missing. I visited the King. I rode beside the calm river in a light rain. It was awesome. I intend to fully enjoy "Leave Your Car at Work Day" every day from now on.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Only at the U

Signs are everywhere. We are bombarded with signs both "official" and freestyle every single day. As some may remember, I am a great noticer of signs. I mean, there's this kind of thing:

Or intriguing, less formal messages:

Or messages that seem a little sinister:

Yesterday I took my daughter to physio (stubborn sprained ankle, getting better) at the Fowler Kennedy sports clinic at the University of Western Ontario. I was just hanging around outside people watching and feeling incredibly nostalgic (I went there) and old when I saw a small sign, partly obscured by undergrowth, behind the Ivey Business School. Being a curious, sign-noticing kind of person, I moved in for a closer look.

The sign was basically a "Don't Walk Here" or "Keep Out" kind of thing, yet managed to be so much more:

A tiny, hidden sign on a three foot post with a sad bend on the corner. A remarkably detailed, polite (dare I say erudite?) message that you could only find on a University campus, defiantly protecting a tiny triangle of trees on a vast, busy property teeming with clueless oafs who would happily trample understorey growth and tree seedlings. Remember Rat Trap Press' FARATS-winning "Charlie Brown Tree"?

That sign felt like a nerdy, wonderful "Charlie Brown Sign" to me. I really liked it.

Speaking of trees, I grabbed a pic of the King of Autumn the other day. He's still pretty green, but I have a good feeling that he will ROCK this year and smoke the competition in the Second Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown (SARATS)!  

Can you see it? He's got his game-face on for sure. If trees had teeth, his would be gnashing, baby. You better get looking for a good entry now.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Tough Times and Tasty Trees

First, let me say how sorry I am for being rather absent lately. I have slowed down many times over the last couple of years, but never like this. I really really like writing stuff for this blog, yet I have found that lately it has been quite impossible. Nothing bad has befallen me or my family, so that's not the reason. Work and Life have yet again just taken priority.

That said, some bloggy things are just too vitally important to forgo. I am of course speaking of the Second Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown!

I have been blown off my my usual riding routines by the winds of annoying work-related bull***t and thus have not photographed the King of Autumn yet, but I most certainly will in time to make my own entry.

If any of you are still with me, please find that smokin' good Autumn tree, because this year there will be just one prize for the big winner. The prize will be some kick-butt maple syrup again, but it will be in greater quantity and the same top-notch stuff offered last year. If you know any other Foliage Freaks, well c'mon, send them this way!

The voting for the best tree will be by an unbiased panel of judges to be revealed a little later on... you'll just have to tune in to find out who.

Sticking with last year's format, please send me your pictures of Autumn trees giving us a show. I would prefer shots of one or just a few trees, since even The King can't reasonably defeat a whole mountainside of fall colour. Pictures must also be of this (2011's) season of leafy goodness, since I hope to do this annually until I don't want to any more. That said, all pictures of fall foliage are welcome. Submissions will be accepted until Dec 15, 2011. I'll post the pictures here as they come in, and then the voting by my mysterious panel of judges will occur. Winner to be announced early in the new year.

For those of you who thought you might escape the wrath of the King of Autumn, it is definitely ON. Let's rock.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - For anyone who doesn't know what the hell I'm on about, click here for the 2010 FARATS posts.

Mixte Feelings

I was reviewing some video files, wondering why I kept them, when I came across some footage of a poor lost Mixte. It was leaning, unlocked, against a tree. It had flat tires. Stolen and dropped? Drunkenly used and abandoned as "broken"? It was an Eaton Road King. Eaton's was once the biggest and best department store in Canada and is missed by many of us... at least those of us who remember it. It went under in 1999. Anyway, here it is:

I was riding to work and had no time to think about what should be done. It was a lovely Mixte in nice condition save the flat tires. Beyond that, it was a bit of Canadiana of a variety that is beginning to vanish quickly. After work, I looked for it and sure enough it was gone. If it had still been there, I would have debated with myself about whether I should take it. God knows few would love and restore it the way I would have. Is taking an abandoned, flat-tired bike stealing? I don't know. I just hope whoever picked it up knows what it is and treats it accordingly. The park where it was left is literally right beside a scrap metal yard. I shudder to think. $%^%$*!! I should have saved (stolen) it.

******

I started this post thinking that it would start and end with my sadness about this bike, but as I wrote I got to thinking: Why is it I can get all emotional about a derelict bike, a thing, one of trillions of manufactured things floating around the world, yet drive or ride by a derelict person without a second thought? Things are easy, I guess. People are hard. Perhaps one day I'll grow into somebody who is better at loving and restoring more than bikes. Wish me luck, and sorry for getting all heavy.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Cast Your Vote in the First Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown!

First off, if you have no idea what FARATS is, click here. Then, if you want to read every single stupid post written about it, click here, and be prepared to see most recent posts first. I don't like that, but can't seem to change it either.

Now, for the 30 or so people who know what I'm talking about already:

OK, sorry I'm late. I've been messing around with online voting code. Believe it or not, it is hard to find stuff that will handle the Twelve FARATS entries we've got! I think 12, an even dozen, is pretty good, don't you?

I have determined that rather than fussing about any more, I'm gonna put the poll in the sidebar where it is easiest and will remain visible, so after reviewing the entries in this post, vote for your favourite over there >>>

I said earlier that I wasn't going to name the entrants, but now I think that just takes some of the fun out of it, so I've done a 180 on that and the poll will have their names right in it. Anyway, here are your FARATS entries! In an effort to present them in "random" order, they are alphabetical by submitter. Linked names go to their blog if they have one. Remember to click on the images for bigger versions!

Big Oak's, from Auburn, Indiana:

Chandra's, from the Campion Trail in Irving, Texas:

John Romeo Alpha's, from Phoenix, Arizona:

Keri's, from Florida:

Kokorosashi's, from New Albany, Indiana:

PaddyAnne's, "The Empress", from Cornwall-on-Hudson, New York:

Pattie's, from London Ontario:

Rantwick's "King of Autumn" from London, Ontario:

Rat Trap Press' "Charlie Brown" tree from Fort Worth, Texas:

Steve A's, from "a secret, maple-free location in North Texas":

Tracy Wilkins', from Springfield, Missouri:

Sir "Willie Bean" Wallace's "Lady Guinevere", from Lord Stanley's Park (Stanley Park), Vancouver,BC:

Study these images well and don't vote before you are sure of your favourite! The poll shouldn't allow multiple votes.

Thanks to Everyone Who Participated! The tree receiving the most votes and one other lucky entrant chosen at random will receive a fantastic maple-y prize!

R A N T W I C K

PS - I just had a terrible thought... if you submitted something and I have missed you somehow, email me ASAP!

One Last Plea: Foliage Me.

As the deadline for FARATS (First Annual Rantwick Autumn Tree Smackdown) entries approached, I figured I had received all the entries I was gonna get. Then I got this email and entry from Sir Wallace, aka a-dude-I-won't-use-the-full-name-of-just-in-case-he-wouldn't-like-that. Here it is:



Sir Wallace sez: The name of my tree is Lady Guinevere, as she was (apparently) the only one standing after all of all of the knights of the round table perished. This was the ONLY tree left with colour when I went out to take pics.



Anyone who is reading about this for the first time might think Sir Wallace a little odd with all this "Knights and Ladies" stuff, but I started it with naming my tree the King of Autumn and inviting pretenders to the throne, usurpers, etc.

I was super pleased to get this late entry... it made the December deadline kind of worth it. Now those of you who haven't entered but were thinking about it have one last chance to make it EVEN MORE worth it!


LAST CALL FOR FOLIAGE Y'ALL!


The "y'all" is dedicated to the twisted Texans who choose to read this blog despite its decidedly Canadian (maple-y) flavour. I love you guys and gals, especially when you make worthwhile attempts at getting good fall tree pictures despite being at a distinct disadvantage in terms of foliagity. Yes, "foliagity" is now a word, because I used it and at least one person (you, I bet) understood my meaning. I feel like a God. I Make Words.

If you are reading this, have a tree pic suited to my contest and don't get it in before (or on) Wednesday, December 15, 2010, you will likely regret it for the rest of your life. Or for several really glum seconds. Depends on the person, you know?

Thursday December 16, the post featuring all entries and a method of voting for them will go up. Voting will end at 12:01 AM January 4, 2011. I chose that date because it gives people a chance to recover from new year's hangovers, return to work and start wasting time online again. Some people, you see, stop goofing off on the Internet and enjoy their families and stuff over the holidays. Other people, like me, will be riveted by the voting action on FARATS and pay attention to their loved ones when it is more convenient.

Can you feel the Holiday JoyJoys Yet? Try harder. I mean it. Get Happy, Now! But No Pressure, Really. Except from those you care for. Pressure from them.

R A N T W I C K