Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Fun and Stupid

You know how when you were young you did things that were really fun that in hindsight were really stupid and kind of dangerous? It would seem I've still got the knack at 43.

I am a father of two and a husband of one. Even if the odds of something bad happening were slim, I'm too old to take such silly risks. And even if there wasn't much risk, what the hell kind of example was that? If my kids went anywhere near that river in that condition I would have flipped out on them. I have no good excuse. I got carried away with the fun and challenge of it all.

Next time I see some idiot on the news who ended up in a jam (or worse) because they didn't seem to have any common sense, I will think back to this and cut them a little slack. Meantime, I'm not gonna be foolish like that again. Some other way, I bet, but not like that.

Yer Pal,

Thursday, November 1, 2012

TARATS Entries 13 & 14

The newest entries in TARATS are from Australia! I was pleased to have an entry from the Purple Traveller in the UK last year (I'm hoping he'll be back), and now this! Awesome. Thing is, it is Springtime in Australia because, well, Australia is located in the Southern hemisphere. If an Aussie wants to enter my contest with Spring trees because that's what they have when I'm flogging my contest, I'm gonna let 'em. If you don't like it, you can just Go Stuff Yourself (see sidebar for helpful advert).

Be sure to check out the slide show on the entrants page to see the two entries described in this email:

Here are two. The purple Jacaranda is in Brisbane, I photographed it on my way home from Canada near the end of September. It is an iconic sign of spring in the sub-tropics here, Brisbane has many fine examples. The red is the Poinciana I photographed on my way out to the dam yesterday in Townsville. There are better examples, but this one is part of my routine so I appreciate it more. I hope people don’t mind that you allow ‘non-standard’ entries, but I thought this was too fun to miss. You have some stunning entries this year.

Does anybody else find the place name "Townsville" kind of funny, in a "Cityburgh" kind of way?

Anyway, this year's smackdown has contestants that are helping me redefine the rules, that's for sure! Multiple entries? Why not? Spring trees from Australia? You bet!

The way I see it though, this is a stupid contest with stupid prizes and flexible (stupid) rules. Am I wrong? No, I'm not, because it is my contest! If you think I'm wrong, well, uh uh, YOU'RE wrong, stupid! Go run your own stupid contest!

This post has proven to be a great deal of fun to write, way more fun than I expected when I started. I have discovered that writing the word "stupid" a lot is super satisfying, almost as much as using the word "mutant". It's the little things, y'know?

Yer Stupid Mutant Pal,

Monday, September 19, 2011

Leave Your Car at Work Day

I'll bet you didn't know that Sunday September 18 was International Leave-Your-Car-At-Work-You-Stupid-Fool day!

The Rantwick family got a second car in June. Work has demanded that I drive during the day over the last couple of months. My cycling commute trips have plummeted. I've been feeling crummy physically and I swear my brain doesn't work as well when I don't get my alone time on the bike. I was bummed out until I had a pretty good idea, I think.

Yesterday I attached the bike rack to the car, drove it to work and left it there, riding my bike home. I intend to leave it there all the time. I will commute to and from work on the bike and use the car for work or child-related "emergencies" as needed. I notified those who might be tempted to tow a crappy car that was sitting overnight in the parking lot all the time that they shouldn't do that. I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!

Today I enjoyed an Autumn morning commute that reminded me of all I had been missing. I visited the King. I rode beside the calm river in a light rain. It was awesome. I intend to fully enjoy "Leave Your Car at Work Day" every day from now on.

Yer Pal,

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Looking Stupid: A How-To For Winter Cyclists

I ride my bike to work and back all winter long. I see winter as an adversary that shall not be allowed to take away one of my favourite things, and I have figured out how to stay comfy and enjoy the ride in any weather. I only failed to ride in on 2 work days last winter thanks to truly impressive weather, and I'm gunning for a flawless record this year.

Since many motorists are either made nervous or angry by my presence in the off-season, I try hard to look like a well-equipped, serious and safe cyclist. I drive a car too, so I can relate to worrying that some idiot on a bike is about to do something stupid or dangerous that results in me squishing them flat. I am well reflectorized and lit in the dark, I wear a good deal of cycling-specific clothing, hold a nice straight line and ride in a predictable way. I even use hand signals. I am winter cycling's responsible, nerdy Ambassador. Grudging respect and acceptance is my goal, not looking stupid. Thankfully, for those wishing to expand their repertoire of dorky behaviours, others are happy to lead by example.

Tip #1 - Get drunk first. Have you ever tried to ride a bike drunk? No? I strongly advise trying it in winter if you're going to try it at all. Go hard or go home, as they say. Like the drunk dude who crashed repeatedly in the greasy snow on a very busy street right in front of me last year. He was awesome.

Tip #2 - Be woefully unprepared. Like the rugged bare-headed and handed men both young and old who ride recklessly in whatever direction might offer the best chance of keeping most of their frostbitten ears from falling off or allow them to remove their clenched, frozen hands from the bars upon reaching their destination. They are legion, at least in early winter. I can only guess the resultant injuries prevent any more gloriously stupid rides as the season wears on.

Tip #3 - When you see that ultra-polished ice that occurs at stop signs where drivers have spun their wheels, especially 4-way stops, insist on "taking your lane" to ensure your safety and fair treatment as a vehicle at the intersection. When you come to a stop, confidently put your fancy new winter cycling boots down as your bike attempts to slide out from under you. Discover that the hard plastic cleats of said boots do nothing on such ice. With agonizing slowness, carefully tip-toe yourself and your bike out of the way while impatient motorists on their morning commute watch with disdain and think "now look at that jackass. For somebody so well dressed, equipped and reflectorized, he sure is stupid."

Ambassador. Yay me.