Thursday, July 7, 2011

Bikes, Grips and Sexy: The New Math

Hey there! Long time no write, I know. I have worked out in every detail an invention that will produce buckets of time that I can use as I wish, but unfortunately I have not had any time to build it. Isn't that just always the way when you want to fine-tune the Universe a bit? Terrible.

So, anyway, some other creative people sent me an email recently. They wanted me to pass on their message and maybe help drum up support for their project, something called OOQI grips. Here's their email:

Hey! we dig the ride you posted on Fixed Gear Gallery!

We like sexy bikes and feel that they deserve sexy bike grips. OOQI grips are fat and sexy. A fat grip is more ergonomic and absorbs vibrations better than a regular, puny, loser grip. Also they're sexy.

We’re trying to spread the notion of do-it-yourself bike customization and getting more people riding bikes as a main mode of transit. You can support us by visiting our website ( and our Kickstarter (

If you dig it, please spread it.

Much love,
Eddy + Jared

I really don't mind passing on this link because who knows, these grips (or the potential of these grips, I guess) might really appeal to somebody who reads this blog. So I guess I'm spreading it despite the fact that I don't personally dig it. The whole notion of "kickstarter" campaigns is interesting to me too, because I don't know how I feel about them. I mean, I usually don't have much trouble forming opinions about things, but this time I am ambivalent.

I am not necessarily convinced that what they are really trying to do is "spread the notion of do-it-yourself bike customization and getting more people riding bikes as a main mode of transit"; I have a sneaking suspicion that what they are trying to do is make and sell bicycle grips. Every maker of everything, however, seems to need ad copy that says they're really about something else these days, so I don't really hold that against them either.

My last observation is that I have another sneaking suspicion, one that they didn't look very hard at my bike and that the fact that I posted it on was enough to make me part of their target consumer group. The thing is, while I do ride a fixed gear, I may well be one the least likely consumers of this style of grip they could have found.  My guess is that their target consumer would be more like this dude on their website:

I couldn't use grips like theirs on my bike. And they like sexy bikes. No offense to my fixed gear, but I think I am the only one who might find it sexy. I also have a thing for women using lawnmowers, and I would expect that the demographic for that one would be equally insignificant. I haven't done any pictorial math for a while... perhaps if you are finding my writing as confusing as I do, the following expressions will help:

Whew! I'm glad I found a way to make myself clear. I'm off to find a good therapist, you have a nice day now.

Yer Pal,


limom said...

Put them on the ends of yer drops and they'll look like totally tarck!
Like really.
Well, you might have to lose the rack.

Steve A said...

I expect that one day, we'll read in "The Sun" that Mrs Rantwick discovered that you sneered at sexy grips only so that she wouldn't get all enraged and take her revenge.

When "The Sun" interviews her, she will, of course, note that running you over was purely accidental, as was backing back over your flattened body. Then she panicked and drove forward again before the car malfunctioned and went back and forth another three or four times. Luckily, she'd just increased your life insurance coverage. Lucky Rantwick, eh?

Kokorozashi said...

Funny -- though I've never thought about it, women using lawnmowers could definitely be sexy. Especially if they are bicycle-powered push mowers.

And I'm gay (or does that make me mostly gay?), so I feel that my opinion on the matter is fairly objective :D

Also, I now want a bicycle-powered push mower, to go with the bicycle-powered TV that will definitely be installed in my still-imaginary trainer room, once I find like $600 to buy the trainer/generator combo, or convince Denis that he really wants to kludge one up for me.

RANTWICK said...

limom - lose the rack? Are you INSANE?

Steve - Mrs Rantwick would never do that... she told me she's only been upping the life insurance because I am becoming more and more precious to her, so there.

Koko - Lawnmower women probably have an adult website dedicated to them somewhere, no doubt. It doesn't make it any less weird though. I wonder if that cyclo-mower works OK?

GreenComotion said...

Dang - I haven't seen the notation (symbol) for "therefore" in a long-donkey time. Thanks, Patrick :)

And, I love those pictures explaining your love logic!

BTW, the bike you posted on is cool too!

Peace :)

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