Monday, March 22, 2010

Riding Around In My Underpants, I Honk Like a Goose

OK, here goes... pictured below is the back of my office door with my cycling clothes hanging on it.I wear the shorts underneath the pants. On days when it is below freezing, I wear them under my heavier, cold weather pants:



One day several months ago, my winter cycling pants were swallowed by a renegade laundry mound at home. I couldn't find them and was running late for work. They are the only cycling pants I own. It was way too cold for just shorts. In desperation, I put on the only thing I could find:




Now, I can hear you saying, "Rantwick, what the hell is wrong with you? What's wrong with a regular pair of pants?" You are absolutely right in that I could have worn normal pants. I have come to really dislike wearing normal clothes on the bike, so much so that wearing normal pants didn't even occur to me at the time. As it turns out, that was a good thing. Sort of.

On days that it is just above freezing, my heavier pants are too hot. I don't own any regular, warm weather cycling tights. These long undies keep my legs just warm enough, while breathing really well. If it is cold enough to wear them it is also cold enough to wear my jacket, and my jacket covers both the waistband and the "fly", so nobody knows (until now). They fit just like any pair of stretchy athletic tights. So, call me a freak (and I know you will), I have continued to wear them when the temperature is between 0 and 10 C or so. Anything above that and I break out the brightie whities (legs with cycling shorts, I mean. I'm not that freaky just yet).

Sharing this kind of embarrassing information is a bizarre character trait of mine. It is not limited to this blog stuff either. If I have something I'm ashamed of or something I fear will make me look bad or invite teasing or criticism from others, I end up telling people all about it. I think it is a defense mechanism. It is much easier to poke fun at something another person has attempted to keep secret as opposed to something they just up and told you. It kind of takes the fun out of it. This is cool with Mrs. Rantwick, because although it means that I frequently embarrass her by association, it also means I am incapable of keeping secrets from her. If I decide to keep something secret from her, it is a sure thing that making that very decision will have me telling her about it within 24 hours.

So anyway, I was riding to work in my underpants this morning and found myself behind a car that was failing to get going when presented with an advanced green. So I honked. I have no horn or bell on my bike. I prefer to use my voice when I need attention and it works well when you're willing to really speak up or even yell. I've never honked before though, and it turns out that I am more Canadian than I ever guessed...




So there you have it for this Monday. I wish I could promise something normal or interesting for next time, but I honestly don't know what's gonna come next.




Helpless in the face of my own freakishness, I remain:


Yer Pal,


R A N T W I C K

12 comments:

Kokorozashi said...

Amazing -- I thought I was the only person on earth who had discovered using longjohns as cycling tights.

Of course, in my case, it resulted from the fact that I don't own any cycling tights, only recently being converted to the Way of the Lycra.

Admittedly, I'm thinking about hitting the 'access hatch' with a sewing machine ... just in case :)

Rantwick said...

Kokorozashi - Hey, thanks for visiting and commenting! Just goes to show, when you think you're a little odd, just go online...

Mighk said...

Y'know, it never occurred to me to honk at motorists who sit there at green lights gabbing on the phone or otherwise distracted. Last time it happened I just yelled "Go!"

From now on it's "Honk!"

Marrock said...

I have a Fox40 whistle I use in place of a horn and to save the dulcet tones on my voice from being damaged by yelling.

This whistle is loud enough to penetrate a cell phone conversation through a closed SUV window.

As for you guys and your superhero costumes, this sums up my feelings on the matter quite succinctly: http://i.imgur.com/Sq7iM.gif

Rantwick said...

Hey, I look alot like dilbert there.

cafiend said...

Long johns as quasi outerwear became "the thing" in lightweight backpacking culture as far back as the 1980s. I reduced a whole hut full of properly wool-clad ski tourists to stunned silence by kickin' the door open and striding in wearing blue and white striped longies with a neon-blue Speedo over them. They never did warm up to me.

Rantwick said...

There's nothing like a speedo to push people away, even overtop of stuff.

cafiend said...

I'm not really a Speedo kind of guy, but for light packing it served multiple needs. I had to improvise an outfit when the February weather suddenly turned inconveniently warm. It didn't help that the next two people through the door behind me were as bizarrely attired. The rest of our group was dressed more conventionally.

Steve A said...

Only from Rantwick!

Eliot Landrum said...

What a coincidence. Just this last Monday during my day-off tour around downtown Dallas, I was so baffled on how to alert a car to get moving... I just sort of yelled "go!!". I really don't think they heard me. Then it happened again... this time the car behind me honked at them. I looked back and smiled and they gave a friendly wave. Nice moment!

Saskboy said...

Well done.

Rollz said...

There's nothing like a speedo to push people away. That is the funniest thing I have heard in awhile...:-P

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