No, that is not my butt. Those are the massive air intakes of a Harrier jump jet. My cargo shorts, however, do not come equipped with Pegasus turbofan engines, and so do not allow me to hover or propel me forward even at the Harrier's somewhat mediocre sub-sonic speeds. If they did, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this nonsense, but instead be hovering and blasting around town impressing the hell out of everyone. No, I think perhaps this picture better conveys how cargo shorts feel to me now:
There, that does it for me. Now in describing my opinions on cargo shorts for bike riding, I'll just say they "give me the 'ol reverse spinnaker". Wait, maybe not. I don't like sound of that at all. Ah well, I'm sure you get my drift, and that's good enough for me. I'm just gonna shut up for a little while now.
Talk about hopeless wind bags!