Trauma - A Dude Licked My Mo

At the Dog's Breakfast show I was promoting a few days ago, the other Dog in the act started suggesting to our audience that people could touch my Mo for a 50 cent donation. That was fine with me, and some nice ladies did exactly that after they got few drinks in. It was funny and fun.

Then a good friend of mine showed up at the stage with a $5 Monation. He just handed over the money and was leaving the stage when the other Dog reminded him that he may touch my Mo. He came back up. I closed my eyes, expecting some sort of mild violence like a slap or a tug on the Mo. Instead, said friend proceeded to LICK my Mo. It got a big reaction from the crowd, let me tell you, and I was left speechless and unable to anything but stagger back in horror. That was one expensive $5 Monation. Pity me, and if you could find it in your heart to translate that pity into a nice clean, dry Internet Monation, I would be very grateful. Click Here to do that.

I had nearly overcome the trauma of the event, but writing about it has brought it all back. I've got to go wash my face now. See you again soon.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Transit Strike Spawns Wild Ninja Salmon!

There is currently a transit strike underway here in London Ontario. As a result, many people are having to find alternate ways of getting around. You see a lot more people walking and cycling, and oh, the cycling you'll see!

What happens when people who don't normally ride their bikes past Labour Day or anywhere except the bike path or around the block on the sidewalk get them out of their sheds and garages in November to go to work or school? You get a ton of sidewalk salmon, street salmon and every other variety of dangerous cycling going on. And with the sun setting just after 5 pm this time of year, a great many become completely unlit and largely un-reflectorized accidents-in-waiting during the PM rush. I almost hit a couple of them myself on my way home from work on my own bicycle as they darted across my path from between parked cars and launched themselves off of sidewalks and into traffic.

I was taking video as I rode home, hoping to put together a montage of danger and idiocy. Sadly, the low light made pretty much all of the video unusable. I have seen very few extra cyclists in the morning on my way in when the light is better, which seems a little odd. Perhaps I will have better luck soon.

I was young once and have been stupid lots of times, but the reckless abandon with which some people are riding takes my breath away. It's like they think they are invincible or immortal or both. It is great to see so many people cycling; I suppose they aren't all insane... Perhaps some new people will join me in staying on the road as things get colder and more slippery. I just hope they are the types who are likely to do so without getting squished.

Let's All Get Lit! That should help!

R A N T W I C K

Encounters with Rantwick, episode nine: I Couldn't Scare a Squirrel

Squirrels are smart in their own squirrely way. The squirrel you will see here has an excellent sense of the relative dangers posed by an automobile and a bicycle.

Maybe he would have been afraid of me if I had been sporting my new Mo... difficult to say.

Being squirrely is terribly underrated.

R A N T W I C K