Lawn Signs and Rapid Transit in London Ontario

Some lawn signs annoy me. Especially the generic, preachy kind like this:

or even

I mean, really? This is just anonymous finger wagging in lawn sign form. I know when I am driving and I see these, I feel angry at being scolded for a crime somebody is presupposing I'm likely to commit. When I'm angry, I lose my sense of propriety and drive like a jerk. In fact I drive like NOTHING lives there, or more accurately like the inhabitants of the neighbourhood (pets included) all belong to the hordes of undead who live in my mind ever since zombies became so popular again. Just keep moving, I say to myself, praying that I won't have to squish any of them under my wheels... oh god, when will I be able to stop running, stop driving like a maniac, stop the carnage? But I digress. Let's get back to sunny days and brighter thoughts, shall we?

These signs have led me to one of my favourite conceits, that of getting a bunch of signs printed and planting them next to the preachy ones in the dead of night...

Mrs. Rantwick has forbidden me from taking any such action.

However, as with many annoying things, I'm guessing lawn sign messaging began in a well-meaning way, like communicating your support for this or that politician, or of course for advertising your yard sale:

I don't know what it is like where you live, but lawn signs in my city have begun to cover lots of individual political issues, as well. Here are some I've seen around town lately:

This post isn't about any of these issues, but my reaction to these, from left to right, are "OK I guess... Whatever", "Umm, why?" and "Hell no, I love those things!"

Thanks for staying this long into this post, btw. We're finally getting to the rapid transit part. Recently lawn signs about the City's plans for a BRT (Bus Rapid Transit) system have been springing up everywhere.

The pictures are so crummy (and accompanied by a clear graphic) because they are just grabbed out of my helmet cam video... I was to lazy to stop and take proper pictures.

Sadly, the green signs are badly outnumbered by the red ones. I say sadly because I am a big fan of big transit. I think it is probably more important to creating livable cities than (gasp) bicycles, and it saddens me to see so many fighting it. Some say that the push back is not so much against the idea, but the current plan. To that I say let the experts be the experts... planners don't always crush it, but they sure as hell know more about implementing such systems than I do. I'm guessing they also know more than the average lawn sign protester. For myself, I've put my name on the list to receive a green sign, and intend to participate in lawn sign democracy for the first time ever.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - When searching lawn sign images, I saw this. I really liked it, so maybe you will too:

PPS - At time of publication (May 3), a big RT public participation meeting is scheduled at 4 PM, Bud Gardens. You should go!

Dead-Eyed Santa Contest WINNER!

I threw a party and nobody came. Here's the single entry and, by extension, winner of my contest!

The good news is that this particular entry was a "winner" regardless; I have little doubt that it would have been in contention among lots of entries. Thank you John!

Just goes to show, though, that if you stop writing for your blog, people stop reading it! Go and figure. With the seemingly ever-increasing number of bloggers I like either slowing dramatically like me or stopping altogether, perhaps I should make a renewed effort to post more... there would be less competition!

Lastly, and vis-a-vis nothing at all, please enjoy this picture of my TV screen that I took on the day of the women's march in Washington. So direct... so mean... so pure. 

I must confess I've been saying this to Mrs. Rantwick, most often with no reason at all. She laughs and laughs. Thank-you, newly-minted President Trump!

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Dead-Eyed Santa - Entry #1!

I have received the first (and hopefully not last) entry in my dead-eyed Santa contest! This one was submitted by John and features a nicely unenthusiastic Santa holding Scotty the dog, who doesn't look totally pumped about things either. Perhaps Santa wasn't a dog person. Perhaps Santa was confused by the fact that Scotty was not a Scottie... we'll never know. No matter what, this is a great start. Thanks John!

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Dead-Eyed Santa Contest!

I've never been a big fan of the Christmas season; I blame part of my crank on 5 years or so working in retail in a Mall. I also have trouble getting behind anything that stresses a lot of people out. But I am trying to change, so I am trying to catch the holiday spirit by hosting a festive contest!

I think lots of families have at least one picture like this. I love them. The child pictured here is my now 18 year old daughter. Ah, these are the special times a father never forgets, you know?

Anyway, please send me your dead-eyed Santa pictures. The winner will be chosen by the man at my work who has been Santa for many years at the kid's party hosted at my place of employment. He has a real big white beard. His name is Larry, and he is not the man pictured above. Perhaps, when I tell Larry about this great honour, he will allow me to post his picture here on the blog! Won't that be fun?

Rules:

- you must know the child in the picture personally

- I reserve the right to crop/zoom your photo to bring out that special "just kill me" holiday feeling

- pic must be received in the year 2016

Prize:

- A childishly hand-crafted tree ornament commemorating your victory and $20 to the charity of your choice! 

I know lots of people would only have a hard copy photo, but I made the one above by just taking a photo of the photo with my phone. Phun! Email your pic to "rantwick_at_gmail_dot_com". If you want to use Facebook or Twitter or Instagram to send it, that's cool too; just be sure to direct it straight at me or I might miss it. Please spread the word! If you're into #hastags please use the one I'll be using on Instagram and Twitter, #rantwick_dead_eyed_santa

Ho Ho Ho! Hoolleee Contest!

R A N T W I C K

Are You #%^1n' Kiddin' Me #10

Well, I've been watching TV commercials and getting annoyed again. This time it is a brand that many cyclists (especially the tech gear lovers) know well, Garmin. Here's the commercial:

OK, so where to start. First, the small, personal annoyance: Why does it appear to be effective marketing to paint spouses (wives in particular) as annoying shrews with these "honey-do" lists?

Hey, don't blame me. It's Garmin's commercial.

Even the phrase "honey-do" pisses me off. People seem to like a homonym for something like honeydew, I guess, but that's no excuse. We all have shit to do, for our families, our friends, ourselves and sometimes even, god forbid, for our spouses! WTF is wrong with that? I'll bet you a gazillion dollars that men who feel hard done by because they have chores or errands to do are also pampered little assholes who married clones of their fawning mothers rather than somebody they could respect for doing a hell of a lot more than pulling their own weight, as most wives and Moms I know do. Grrrr. Honey-do. Bah. Urg.

Now, let's turn to the more obvious problem with this commercial. To quote the commercial:

It's an insane amount of stuff, so you can do the one thing you're supposed to do: Drive.

Are You #%^1n' Kiddin' Me? How does an "insane amount of stuff" help you concentrate on driving? Is putting all the distractions of your phone on your dash so you can see them occurring much less distracting? I don't think so, and neither does the cartoon man in the commercial. Where is he looking as he travels along being annoyed by his wife? At his Garmin! Look!

And then he's

Then, at the end when he's supposed to be "doing the one thing you're supposed to do: Drive", he's still not right...

Sorry, cartoon man, but I need to re-arrange your face!

I lacked the skills to turn his head, but you get my drift.

Now as an added and completely unrelated bonus, I took this picture of my TV a good while ago:

All I inferred from this commercial is that people who rush in to Honda sales events are so stupid they don't know how to carry a pizza. So sad.


Thanks for reading! Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K