Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Obstructionist Art Winner!

I am decidedly back from vacation. I may write about my time away soon, but there are matters much more pressing to address, namely contest-winning nonsense!

After much study and completely unbalanced evaluation, I am declaring Ham the winner of the contest, mainly because he worked in the candy when he thought at first that it was candles. If my choice makes you mad, I do apologize, but tough darts... I liked his entry best. Honorable mentions go to everybody else; I loved all the stuff I read.

Ham, please provide me with a mailing address (via email) to which I can send $5 in Canadian Tire Money! If you fear that I am a stalker of some kind, you can use your neighbours, or friends, or granny's. Whatever, so long as you receive this awesome prize. Please accept the prize rather than telling me to donate somehow... it made sense when a local won my last contest, but I really want you to receive this dubious booty.

Here's Ham's winning entry:

I really don't see what all the mystery is about.

First, it is quite obviously part of the London Street Piano event here and here (Truth, as ever being stranger than fiction). How it comes to be there? Easy, it was delivered by my postman using the random technique he applies to all critical mail. The cones even confirm that, as they say "London" on them, and everyone knows that is here in England not in Canada.Knowing that, most other things become clear. The candles were dropped by a posse of nuns on their way home from a shopping trip (Where's the candle? Yes it does, doesn't it?) The urge to have a quick roadside yodel overtook them and with all those habits bouncing and arm waving it is no surprise they dropped. (ah. It says candies, not candles. So they bought sweets as well as the candles and remembered to pick the candles up after. Everyone knows nuns like sweets, too)

The cyclist is Danny McAskill (do watch this if you haven't, and I'm only disappointed you missed photographing his next manoevre which was jumpping from the pavement onto the piano, then onto the coach as it passed. He puts his drink down on the top of the cone on his way up, and picks it up on the way down, otherwise it would be too easy for him. The SUV contains his camera crew, ready to do a hanbrake turn and add extra pizazz to the film.

What you do not draw attention to is the masonic symbol ("A" in your big picture) which is in itself much more interesting. It is from the James Bond Lodge "Diamonds Are Forever" who famously hold ceremonial initiations every time a piano appears by the roadside, being a sign from the heavens that momentous events are afoot.

Congrats, Ham!


Apertome said...

Welcome back! And, congrats, Ham! Don't spend it all in one place.

Ham said...

Whey hey! :-)

Welcome back, I hope you had a good holiday.

I just want to thank everybody I've ever met in my entire life. Am I allowed to say I really wanted this? This is fantastic. Gee, this isn't like I imagined it would be in the bathtub. Can I have my champagne now? (I could do no better than to nick Oscar acceptance speeches)

cafiend said...

Ham, the perfect winner.

cafiend said...

Wait: London England to London, Ontario? The fix was in.

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