Friday, December 11, 2009

Is That A Camera In Your Pants, Or Are You Just A Freakish Mutant?

Hmmm, how to answer... my answer is... Yes! Yesterday afternoon I had a camera in my pants, because I am a freakish mutant. I've been noting the sad fact that I've been riding when it is too dark to get any good video lately. Well yesterday, I managed to get out of work earlier than usual and was pumped about shooting some video again. I had my doubts about the condition of my camera batteries, so I attached the camera to the handlebars but didn't turn it on at first. The same strong west wind that gave me the joy joys on the way in was COLD riding home on the return trip. That's OK, I'll happily pay for a tailwind one way with a headwind in the other; that's only fair.

When I did turn the camera on, the lens/zoom mechanism must have been a little frozen, because it tried to extend, beeped repeatedly and then just closed again. I tried warming the camera in my bare hands, but it behaved the same way. This is where the freakish mutant part comes in.

It is well known that freakish cycling mutants who mount cameras on their bikes love getting that video, even when it is totally boring video, and can't stand to miss the opportunity especially when it has been a few days since they last got their fix. I needed to warm up that camera, so I stuck it down my pants, into the warmest possible position. No one saw me as I rode along warming my camera, which is really too bad, because if you're gonna shove a digital camera down your spandex pants, my bike camera must be among the most flattering models ever made:

Warming that thing in my pants worked like a charm; the lens/zoom recovered! Thanks to some of my unspeakable zones I can now show you the admittedly boring video, which includes some footage of the tree Mother Nature took out just to teach me a lesson. You may notice that I am moving very slowly in some shots... that headwind was a killer.

London usually gets lots of snow. I can't believe we haven't gotten the snow that seemingly everybody else did!


Extra Special Friday PS!

image source: here

I have posted the above image only because 1) it is Friday and 2) I don't trust myself to comment on it in a tasteful fashion. Done. Gone. Whew.


Lucky said...


So the guy in the middle says, "Really guys? I dreamed I was skiing."

Steve A said...

I can't resist asking if the lens extended when it warmed up in your pants? Did anyone report same to the RCMP?

Tracy W said...

Well, at least it was off (or I hope it was)!

RANTWICK said...

Lucky - I don't get it.

Steve and Tracy - It was indeed off for the warming period, so no entending of any kind occurred, I swear.

Big Oak said...

Geez, you are just like Survivor Man, dealing with difficult weather conditions, fixing what needs to be fixed.

I gotta say, sticking the camera where you stuck it is TMI! Something like saying, "...being the resourceful person I am, I figured out a way to warm the camera so it would work..." would have been sufficient.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you are still on the trails. wow. as for that other pic, hmmm, I know what I WANT to say but..

1. Not sure people will understand the terminology I would use.

2. Fear of being blocked from this site forever for knowing that same terminology.

Steve A said...

Having just watched "A Christmas Story," were you tempted to lick the frozen camera to see if your tongue would stick? I triple dog dare you!

Rollz said...

I think I saw my tracks in your video. What time to you cross that bike trail?

DC said...

I love that the you brought the music in a few seconds after the video starts. well done!

I think I have my geography right. I've always hated London, Ont.
Traveling the QED from New York on our way to Huntsville to snowmobile, the high winds we encounter on top of the bridges always scares the sh8t out of me!

Love Canada and the people though! :)

RANTWICK said...

Big Oak - Too much information is kind of what I do...

360 - I ride the trails as long as I can, until they become impossible. As for points one and two, likewise, which is why I posted it with no commentary.

Rollz - That particular day was earlier than usual, around 430. When our numbers are so reduced in winter, I always wonder a little at who left the tracks I see...

DC - I based where the music started on the length of the track, since I didn't feel like cutting it to repeat or anything... thanks!

As for windy, it was tough most of last week, and I think you mean the QEW.

Thanks for visiting and commenting!

RANTWICK said...

Steve - I almost missed replying to you! I will never ever touch my tongue to something that was down my pants, triple dog dare or no.

cafiend said...

Alphonse said to Robert: "I love it here at Old Orchard Beach, but I don't look impressive in my Speedo."

"Do what I do," said Robert. "Put a potato down there."

A short while later, Alphonse came back to Robert.

"I did what you said. Why are people laughing at me?" he asked.

"Because the potato goes in the front!"

Rollz said...

Your way later than me. My darkness falls in the AM. I am going home at 3pm

Anonymous said...

Yeah, that headwind really blew.

Have you been to Village Cycle lately? He is setting up an indoor side-by-side track bike race using software. Fun stuff in Old South.

RANTWICK said...

Cafiend - very good. I'm using that one at the first opportunity.

Rollz - Well that settles it, anyobdy I thought might have been you was not you.

Anon - Not been lately... that sounds pretty cool though!

Anonymous said...

Lucky's comment is the punchline to a very old joke. Short version is three guys sleeping on the same bed, wake up in the morning, guy on one side says he had a vivid sex dream, guy on the other side says he had the same.
Insert punchline here.

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