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Saturday, March 20, 2010

I Rode on the Sidewalk and a Miracle Happened

I've ridden on the sidewalk twice lately. The first time's circumstances are too complicated to relate other than to say it was the only way to get at some takeout Pad Thai (I have a freakishly strong liking for Pad Thai) without riding around an entire extra block. I don't normally ride on the sidewalk for any reason any more. It had been so long that it felt weird and dangerous and annoying. The annoying part is the steady bump-bump created by the seams between concrete sidewalk pads. Why would anyone willingly put up with that? The weird and dangerous was that when I was on this particular sidewalk I was riding against traffic, across driveways for both homes and businesses. It felt so very unpredictable, unlike the street. I pretty much know what's going to happen on the street. I swore I wouldn't do it again any time soon. So...

Only a couple of days later, I did it again. This time it made more sense, because it was only a short distance to get to a button activated crosswalk where I would normally dismount and walk my bike across Wellington Road. There is no proper (light controlled) intersection anywhere near this crossing point. Wellington Road after work is pretty much uncrossable or even merge-able for me on my bike. I'm a strong rider in traffic, but the way this street flows at this particular point scares me off vehicular cycling in this particular case. So, I use the crosswalk button and walk my bike across, like I said.

Here's the thing: a Miracle Happened. The Miracle was that traffic parted without explanation, allowing me to ride across Wellington. This was around 5PM! You would have to live near this spot to appreciate how miraculous this really was, but here it is:

Now I don't want to look a miracle-horse in the mouth, but I was saddened to learn how I respond to miraculous events. "Holy Shit"? Is that any way to respond to a Miracle? I think not! I almost hope I never witness any miracles where people or, heaven forbid, divine entities are around, because I don't want to be the slack-jawed Gomer who can only think to say something both unbefitting and crude. Know thyself, I guess.

I'm gonna start practicing my stunned silence face or some other phrase just so I'll be prepared for profound events with something better than "Holy Shit". Even "well I'll be!" would be better, but I'm thinking something like "woah, that is so cool" will suit me best. Or the stunned silence thing. I can't decide. Silence has never gotten me in trouble yet, but I'm not very good at it. I welcome your suggested profound event catch phrases if you think there's something good I could use. If they contain bad words, please don't bother... that's what I'm trying to get away from.


Wishing you Miracles both Small and Insanely Large,

R A N T W I C K

9 comments:

jeff said...

And...Boom goes the dynamite.

Rollz said...

Holy Crow !....I hear banjo music in my head when I approach Wellington Rd. isn't that vierd

danc said...

Riding a bicycle on a sidewalk is rarely a better choice than riding in the street and so it is the small, petite miracle.

Rantwick said...

jeff - hmmm. no.

Rollz - I fear you hear all kinds of things.

danc - amen brother.

Ed W said...

Pad thai....mmmmmmmmmm.

cafiend said...

Holy guacamole has a nice flow to it. Also, if you tell yourself you will taste whatever you say, "Fudge nut brownie sundae!" may become your most emphatic exclamation.

I also routinely substitute the word Shimano for a shorter term starting with sh.

Rantwick said...

cafiend - Guacamole is among my favourite things, so if use that one I kill two birds with one stone! Nice one.

Shimano? Work on bikes much?

Apertome said...

"Gorgonzola!" also has a nice ring to it.

Rantwick said...

Apertome - How about "Hola Gorgonzola"?

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