Snack God

Here in London Ontario there are now a few big Asian supermarkets. They are like any big supermarket in many ways. In other ways, not so much. It is kind of like taking China Town in a big city and repackaging it for mass consumption by suburbanites. I love these stores, because despite wishing I weren't so boring, I'm about as average a white man as you can get; a perfect target audience, if you will. They have so much cool stuff I've never seen before!

 

I had to buy these just because of the outstanding name and packaging:

 

Lonely God Potato Twists

I bet God really is kind of lonely these days. I mean, the numbers of religious people seems to be at an all-time low, as far as I can tell. Thankfully, that doesn't stop His or Her or Its minions from gracing our villages full of medieval-style towers with potato twists, thank Whoever!

The potato twists themselves were kind of rotini-shaped and had the taste and texture of slightly soft (like squeak against your teeth soft) sour cream n' onion chips. I ate half the bag anyway, because when I bought 'em, I made a commitment. It's just the kind of stand-up Lonely God fearing man that I am.

God might be lonely, but the helpers are super happy. I would be happy too, I guess, if I had a magic snack wand and could fly! I'm gonna try to spend all day feeling like this helper-minion-angel, sprinkling awesome weird joy snacks composed of goodwill and MSG and onion powder on all whom I meet. It'll beat being a jerkface angry man who just yells profanities at everybody all the time. I am just so sick of that.

 

 

Yer Pal,

 

 

R A N T W I C K

Happiness is a New Chain

I was failing to love my summer commuter in a proper fashion and had not replaced the chain in too long. I got around to that and new brake pads and front tire on the weekend. I measured the old chain and thankfully I had done the work in time, such that the cogs probably haven't suffered much, if at all.

 

Nothing is quite like a smooth running fixed gear with a new, perfectly tensioned chain:

 

 

When I see other people on fixed gears, I sometimes notice some sagging in the chain; I feel sorry for those bikes. They need a little more love.

 

For the detail people: Those thingies at the back of the horizontal dropouts are chain tensioners or "tugs". They aren't really necessary, but the wheels I bought on ebay came with them and I like using them because they make it easier for me to dial in the chain tension just so. Front chainring is a Blackspire Mono Veloce 130/44. Rear cog has 17 teeth, works out to 69.3 gear inches and has served me very well around town.

 

 

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Am I Crazy?

I have long professed my predilection for being a solo rider, an intentional loner, if you will. I'm not really into a bike club or lbs social scene... I value the solitude offered by the bicycle very highly: it is my zen time, not to be impinged upon by the ramblings (or space taking uppings) of others. I find it calming even when riding in full downtown street mode.

 

Here in London Ontario a local cycling advocacy group has gotten some press and God help me, I've asked to be involved. Here's the email I sent:

 

Hello,

 

I am year-round bicycle commuter here in London who up until now has had no involvement in cycling advocacy. Your recent media attention has peaked my interest in your group and made me think about joining in the discussion.

 

I would like to know more about your group, and may be in a position to forward the cause (in a small way) online.

 

Thanks,

 

Patrick "Rantwick" Cormier

 

This isn't like me at all. If they get back to me, I'll have to, like, meet some new people! What have I done? Plus, in pasting my email, I have noticed a grammatical error! "I am year-round bicycle commuter"? They're bound to hate me from the start!

 

Seriously though, this is different from participating in group rides and stuff like that... unless they're into CM and shit, which I have no interest in. I think it likely that if they get back to me, they won't force me to ride with others.

 

As much as I want to just ride my bike, I'm feeling like I want to add my voice (and opinions) to the discussions of what London needs to promote cycling. I have read some stuff that makes this group seem like typical bike lane proponents; that isn't bad so long as it's not all about the paint. Even if it is, maybe I can add a voice that helps reduce poorly planned paint! I love bike lanes, really, when they make sense and are safely designed.

 

Caring about stuff sucks. I mean, when you start caring about stuff, it makes you start doing stuff. This is bad news for a person who is lazy by nature. Damn. Am I crazy?

 

Yer Doomed to Do More Stuff Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - Under my new rules, "uppings" (see first para) is a real word.