Showing posts with label Redemption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Redemption. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Encounters with Rantwick, episode Eighteen: Cycle Satan and Devil Dog

You know, most commutes are pleasant, but boring. I delete most of my commuting videos from my camera because they are just plain uninteresting. Ever since I've mounted my very obvious top 'o the helmet cam, they have become even more so because very few cars do crummy things. That's cool with me!

Once in a long while, however, something downright spooky and upsetting and behaviour changing occurs. This, as you may have guessed, is one of those occasions. Good, Evil, Cars, imminent Death, screeching brakes, HellHounds... brace yourself:

Yer Pal,

Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Great Satan

I have a devil living in my driveway. It is a beat up 2006 Hyundai Elantra.

This thing is sucking away my soul, bit by bit. Melodramatic, I know, but ever since the Rantwick clan once again had two cars, I've been riding less and less. When Lucifer makes an appearance in one's life, one must respond swiftly and without mercy. This car has got to go. Despite my best laid plans, this thing is keeping me from riding as much as I used to. The dark one is clever, disguising himself in the trappings of goodness...

The promise of bike hauling is just a ruse aimed at making me think this instrument of evil could be made to serve a higher purpose. I shall exorcise the evil and free the pure spirit of the bike rack, saving it to strap on our main family vehicle. I shall cast the rest out, out, out to the automotive part-mongers. Yes. All shall be well again soon. Stay tuned. 

Feeling Lighter Already, I Remain,

PS - Did you notice? In heaven, or at least among angels, the bicycle drivetrain is sometimes on the LEFT side! Also, angels ride the top tube with reckless abandon, pain free. Crazy, man. God, I mean. Crazy, God!

PPS - I realize that this post may have offended more religious types. To all of you Satanist RANTWICK readers, please know that I was just having a little fun and meant no disrespect to you or your Dark Lord.