Monday, May 31, 2010

WTF Syndrome - It's Getting Hot

As many of you know, I suffer from Word To Form (WTF) syndrome. Just search WTF on this blog for examples and explanations. Anyway, I was over at Rat Trap Press and was struck with a peculiar case of it, a case in which I thought I saw a bicycle seducing two other bicycles.

Perhaps it was the post's title "It's Getting Hot" that made me think such things, I don't know. If I knew, I wouldn't suffer from my special malady or produce things like this:

I would like to apologize to RTP in advance for putting such a sordid spin on an otherwise lovely and normal blog post. Sadly, I can no more deny my WTF than I can control my customizer. Forgive me, him, and all those who are ruled by decidedly unruly impulses, for though we know what we do, we can not seem to stop doing it.

I've got to go give Mrs. Rantwick some goonie eyes of love now. She's more real than steel, man, and that's the truth.



Hey, it's late Sunday night as I write this. Another Monday is just hours away and has caught me unprepared. I know I'm getting to be a broken record, sorry. Thankfully I keep a bunch of lame ideas for blog posts in the hopper for these increasingly frequent difficult blogging times. I just type a title and a snippet of a thought and save it in the Drafts folder, hoping I'll think of something better and never have to use it.

Tonight I brought up the drafts folder, closed my eyes and stabbed a finger at the screen, and this is how you ended up reading even more dubious content from Rantwick. I will improve someday soon, I hope, but no promises.

Anyway, the fantastic idea for this post is to collect peoples's less-than-deep questions in the hopes that qualified answers will show up in the comments. I mean, everybody loves sitting around pondering the mysteries that feed the soul and give one a reason for living, but that's what religion and/or drugs are for.

Sometimes questions just pop up, shallow questions. Please post your decidedly-less-than-philosophical questions in the comments, and if you can answer any of the questions with COMPLETE confidence, do that too. I will update the body of the post with both new questions and new answers. I guess it's kind of like a reverse wikipedia that starts with questions. It's Jeopar-rantwiki-dy!

That part about being sure of your answers is important. We're all smart and can make good guesses about these things. I can provide any number of good guesses about my lame questions all by myself. I don't want guesses. I want answers you are certain of. I am not going to play fact-checker, so if I post an answer with your name on it you had better be certain it is right.

Speaking of fact-checking, please don't do any research to find the answers to these questions. I mean, any of us could do that. Let's see how we do with our own brains. Now, if one of the questions makes you crack a textbook from some course you took eons ago because you knew you knew the answer but wanted confirmation, that's different. You knew it in the first place, right?

My original post that was sitting in the drafts folder had three questions ready and waiting in it. I am going to post just one, the one that will best set the tone for online learning, enlightenment and mutual understanding:

Q1, from Rantwick: When you're taking muscle relaxants (for your back or whatever), how come you don't poop your pants?

Q2, from John Romeo Alpha: What is the actual, practical benefit of still having Daylight Savings Time?

Q3, from Kokorozashi: Is Wikipedia a bastion of the great democratization of knowledge, a harbinger of the end of civilization as we know it, or both?

A3, from Rantwick: The first thing you said. Or whatever you think, since it is, I'm afraid, a matter of opinion. I personally go with bastion.

Yer Pal,