Spandex / Lycra Cycling Apparel - Bring On the Hate

"why all the hate. At least the dude is going green. The funny thing is after many trips to Europe you see tons of bicycle commuters but none of them wear faggoty spandex."

- SuperSexyBoiGod , commenting on the Spandex Commuter vs. Electric Bike video (comment on youtube.com) that I used in an episode of Encounters With Rantwick.

I didn't respond to that one. I was too hurt deep inside to do so, having learned that I had been hateful without knowing it and was also "faggoty". I just crawled under the blankets and wept for a while.

"You are slow despite your best efforts to squeeze your plump body into spandex. This is something no one of your build or stature should ever try to do. The tight clothes aren't going to reduce drag...they're only displaying things to the world that no man, or woman should ever display... Clothing is important...be comfortable but don't go out looking like Lance Armstrong unless you can pull it off."

- Dave, commenting on my How's My Driving sign.

These comments I did respond to, because that was the point of the sign. Click the link to see the whole conversation.

Thanks to comments like these aimed at me and many others on the Internet, I have come to realize that for many people, it isn't the cyclist that brings forth their ire, but rather the spandex he or she is wearing. They seem to hate it even more if you're wearing that stuff and you're not in tip-top shape, and god help you if you are (gasp) overweight. Apparently overweight people like myself have no right to wear it. I know that that most people commute in something other than the tight stuff. For myself, I find a pair of real cycling shorts with a chamois and everything the most comfortable, so that's what I wear. Here is a picture of my faggoty butt:

The thing is, many people also seem to find this pretentious somehow. Out come the "Lance wannabe" slurs and all that stuff without any provocation. I'm riding a bike with fenders and panniers, but apparently I am a Lance wannabe... I can't imagine how often roadies in full racing kit must hear (or read) that expression.

I guess that is one of many nice things about cycling in colder weather. My cold weather cycling pants are snug, but not in the same way as cycling shorts. Besides, in the cold and snow people are less likely to see me and think "look at this fatass Lance wannabe ****ole", they think instead, "look at this insane freak!" Much better.

Are we still tight? I hope so. Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - Before I decided to just use my own butt in this post, I tried to google up an image of a fat behind in spandex. I came across many of those images that say "FAIL" on them. I really dislike this whole "FAIL" thing. I mean, who do these people think they are, sitting in judgement "Failing" people they don't know in situations they know nothing about? Who's the bigger failure, people who get caught doing something foolish or looking silly, or people who sit around being nasty to strangers (or worse, "friends") on the Internet for fun?

Crystal Reports has a Canadian Bike Fetish!

For reasons uninteresting to anyone, anywhere, I installed Crystal Reports XI on my computer at work yesterday. While browsing around the folders it created, I came upon this "images" folder that is used by a sample database:

Upon closer inspection, those bikes turned out to be Rocky Mountain bicycles. Rocky Mountain is a cool British Columbia based company here in Canada that has produced some really great mountain bikes, especially in that golden age when Ritchey and others were perfecting the art. Ritchey even worked with them. Rocky Mountain is now owned by a bigger Canadian company, but is still independently operated and still makes great bikes. I got most of the preceding info from Wikipedia.

I'm totally guessing here, but I imagine somebody developed a database and some Crystal Reports to go with it for Rocky Mountain, and then software people talked to bike people about making it the sample database/report thing as a way of free advertising or something, complete with massively long contracts and an abundance of legalese.

What I would rather think, however, is that some software developer working for Business Objects (which owns Crystal Reports which is in turn owned by SAP) is a rabid bike junkie who worked it in to the product with nobody's permission at all. That (while naive) is much more appealing, don't you think?

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - Rocky Mountain must have been an "early adopter" when it came to this Internet nonsense... their URL is bikes.com! I wonder what that domain name is worth?

PPS - I have received no money or anything from any of the businesses linked to in this post. Actually, I'm a little afraid of some of them.

PPPS - On further inspection, the sample company in Crystal is a fictional one, xTreme bikes or something. Random picture nabbing, Rocky Mountain bicycle lover, or legal arrangement? You decide.

Panniers are Backpack Killers

If my experience is at all representative^*, backpack makers must despise rack and pannier makers. I have commuted with panniers for the last couple of years. Recently I had the pleasure of taking my Trek 520 (build update coming soon) to work and back a few times as I tested it out and tweaked some things. The bike has no racks yet and thus can't carry panniers, or as some call them, saddlebags. So, I went back to how I used to do it and strapped on my trusty old backpack.

I didn't like it at all. Here's why:

1) Sweaty Back - Going by all the crap I read, this is perhaps the most popular reason for disliking backpacks and is quite self-explanatory.

2) Shifting Load - I suppose if I had the straps better adjusted, this wouldn't have been a problem, but the backpack also would have bound my jacket even more tightly to my body, exacerbating problem number 1. My backpack shifted around when I was making turns and stuff and I had to compensate by changing my body position a little. I didn't like that.

3) Higher Centre of Gravity - Riding with panniers, I have become accustomed to a very stable bicycle (particularly in the rear) with a nice low centre of gravity. Carrying more weight up high felt pretty weird and less safe, although I suspect I could adjust to this pretty easily if I had to. After all, Mutant Winter's load rides pretty high too (although not as high as a backpack).

4) The Principle of the Thing - Before I used panniers, I wouldn't have had the following thought, but here it is. Given a choice, why would one strap a load to oneself rather than letting the machine carry it? It is kind of like inventing the first wagon and continuing to carry the basket of wheat on your head, or going to the grocery store in your car and carrying the food home on your lap. Machines are supposed to help us out with this kind of thing.

I suspect that people who get a rack and some panniers may never go back to the backpack unless, like me, they have no choice. This is also the reason that if I were a backpack maker, I would hate rack and pannier makers. Thankfully for them there are still lots of people who don't ride bikes often enough to invest in racks and panniers and who will stick to the backpack they use while on foot. Keep the up-tick in utility cyclists going, though, and there could be a rack/pannier vs. backpack showdown, or even shootout! That would be so cool! Oh Crap. I have just been struck by WTF syndrome again:

Ah well. It is what it is.

^* In the course of writing posts for this blog, I have come to realize that my experience and reactions and opinions may not be representative of normal people in any way, shape or form. Let me know if I am preaching to the choir or way off base in the comments!

Hey, Take A Load Off.

R A N T W I C K

PS - Please note that I did not mention messenger bags. I have never owned one, so I can't reasonably comment on them. Perhaps you could, though.