Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Snack God

Here in London Ontario there are now a few big Asian supermarkets. They are like any big supermarket in many ways. In other ways, not so much. It is kind of like taking China Town in a big city and repackaging it for mass consumption by suburbanites. I love these stores, because despite wishing I weren't so boring, I'm about as average a white man as you can get; a perfect target audience, if you will. They have so much cool stuff I've never seen before!
 
I had to buy these just because of the outstanding name and packaging:
 

Lonely God Potato Twists

I bet God really is kind of lonely these days. I mean, the numbers of religious people seems to be at an all-time low, as far as I can tell. Thankfully, that doesn't stop His or Her or Its minions from gracing our villages full of medieval-style towers with potato twists, thank Whoever!

The potato twists themselves were kind of rotini-shaped and had the taste and texture of slightly soft (like squeak against your teeth soft) sour cream n' onion chips. I ate half the bag anyway, because when I bought 'em, I made a commitment. It's just the kind of stand-up Lonely God fearing man that I am.

God might be lonely, but the helpers are super happy. I would be happy too, I guess, if I had a magic snack wand and could fly! I'm gonna try to spend all day feeling like this helper-minion-angel, sprinkling awesome weird joy snacks composed of goodwill and MSG and onion powder on all whom I meet. It'll beat being a jerkface angry man who just yells profanities at everybody all the time. I am just so sick of that.
 
 
Yer Pal,
 
 
R A N T W I C K

7 comments:

asian_snack_eater said...

Oh what I'd give for Lonely God kit. The ultimate kit for solo riders like us.

RANTWICK said...

Holy hell, that would be so cool! Really, that apeeals to me like, a lot. Damn. Now I want it too.

RANTWICK said...

* appeals

John said...

Twisted chips, hmmm...

cafiend said...

With Lonely God apparel your ride could be not only an inadvertent political statement, but a theological one as well.

Now I want an Asian grocery store near me, where I can cruise the aisles in search of weirdly translated product names. The closest I get is Ocean State Job Lot (a.k.a. "The 'Blot"), which often carries odd food items from all over the world.

Steve A said...

Yum!

Chandra said...

I am so reminded of Barbara's Cheese snacks, which are an organic version of Cheetos. Now, those can be just as addictive as these.

Good to see you are checking out new things, Patrick.

Paz :)

PS. Am also reminded of the Pentium Song by Weird Al; "what kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?"

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