Friday, July 25, 2014

If Snakes Got Tattoos

I have suffered a WTF (Word To Form) Syndrome double-whammy! If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here

Anyway, long time reader of Rantwick and awesome thoughtful blogger Cafiend, aka Citizen Rider, wrote something that struck my WTF bone pretty hard. Go here for full context, but in short he has suffered some sort of bite or sting that is requiring loads of antibiotics and stuff. In reference to said bite, likely that of a spider or insect, he wrote, "This would be a lot easier to take from a nice macho rattlesnake". Of course I knew exactly how he meant it. But WTF caused me to wonder what a "macho rattlesnake" would look like. Damn.

WTF syndrome is not to be trifled with, so I got to work right away when I got home from work. So: What does a macho rattlesnake look like?




Tom Selleck's Moustache (literally), Steak House kinda guy, tattoo. Done.

When I was working on the stupidness above, I drifted into a second wave of stupid: If snakes got tattoos, what would they get? I figured a deadly human preparing to strike, y'know? So, if you're a snake, what does that look like?




Angry dude with a shovel. I was channeling a snake spirit I think. I ended up spending more time on macho snake's tattoo than macho snake himself. And so, another episode of WTF has occurred and been dealt with. I won't bother with the usual apologies and stuff; it changes nothing. Let us all just move on. 

Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K

Monday, July 21, 2014

I AM. Sorry


In 2006, there was a very popular ad campaign by Molson breweries with the tag line "I AM. CANADIAN"




As a result, the title of this post will mean a little more to Canadians than others. There's another stereotype about Canadians, the one saying that we are extremely polite, to the point of being ready to apologize at the drop of a hat. Being characterized as an extraordinarily civil and conciliatory people sits fine with me, and in this sense it would seem that I am a true Canadian:










I hope you enjoyed my video. If not, please accept my deepest apologies. I will endeavour to do better next time!



Was that too much? Sorry, eh.
R A N T W I C K