Showing posts with label traffic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label traffic. Show all posts

Friday, September 21, 2012

Cycling in Traffic: Irrational Fears


If the title of this post drew you in because you care about Vehicular Cycling or Cycle Driving or any of those crazy notions about roads being shared without special paint or lanes or infrastructure, you are in for a real disappointment, despite the fact that bikes and roads and cars are nowhere near mutually exclusive. This post is about my stupid brain and its totally unfounded, irrational fears:




Since I have not been buried in concrete, you can expect to see another post here soon. Have an excellent weekend!

Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K

Friday, September 11, 2009

Getting Left

A post at DFW point-to-point inspired me to make a quick post of my own using some video of a nice smooth "getting left" I had yesterday. The more I do this, the smoother it gets. There are always jerks who must pass although you obviously need to get over, but that's no different than in your car. As I note in the video, I think I'm more likely to be allowed my lane change on the bike!



I'm a Lefty. I wonder if that helps somehow?
R A N T W I C K

Monday, August 10, 2009

RANTWICK Study Proves It: Driving Makes You Impotent!

There has been a long standing debate about whether cycling can cause impotence (Erectile Dysfunction). Men have been discouraged from cycling. Saddle designs have changed. Recumbents have become more popular, so much so that you may have seen one! I don't really care if there is a connection, because I recently undertook my own real world study of impotence, and have concluded that driving cars makes you at least somewhat impotent in every sense of the word!


From thefreedictionary.com:

I know that image is hard to read, but don't worry, we'll be going over each of the four definitions, so sit tight. The draft of a research study, which I intend to submit to all the best men's medical journals (including The Journal of Andrology, MAXIM and Field & Stream) follows. Remember, this is just a draft, so if any of you have suggestions for refining my thesis, please lay them on me in the comments.
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The Driving of Motor Vehicles as it Relates to Impotence - A Real World Study

RANTWICK, et al.

Abstract:

In an effort to understand and categorize the common anecdotal feelings experienced by myself and other drivers of motor vehicles, the links between those experiences and resultant behaviours and the four main definitions of the English word "impotent" were analyzed. Results indicate a strong correlation between the operation of motor vehicles and the experience of impotence among not only males, but where possible, females as well.

Methodology:

This study was conceived using a "double blind" methodology, since the pounding headache experienced as I mentally prepared it while sitting at the wheel of my car caused me to squint both of my eyes instead of my customary one. Thankfully, being stuck in construction and traffic, there was no danger of an accident, since I wasn't going to be moving for some time.

All blind studies require the use of two groups, and this study is no exception. Among motorized vehicle operators, there is a seemingly natural "control group", who maintain strict control of their vehicles using methods like hyper-vigilance and steering wheel clenching. These motorists, believing that controlling their vehicle gives them certain rights, are more likely to express anger by using the only tool they have in traffic situations, the vehicle itself.

The second group used in this blind study is the "lack of control group", comprised mainly of distracted individuals who are attempting to fully live their business and personal lives while driving. While the members of this group also experience anger, they typically only express it post-accident or incident.

The two groups (control and lack of control) were observed directly in my imagination while I had my eyes closed in a double-blind fashion, and their behaviours and feelings noted for use in the following word definition linkage analysis.

Analysis & Results


The four definitions in question and the corresponding observations and analysis will now be reviewed.




Physical strength and vigor are directly linked to physical activity. It stands to reason, then, that any time spent sitting still (at the wheel of a motor vehicle, for example) adds to ones weakness level. Although some subjects in both groups were found to combat this weakness by scheduling other time for exercise, many did not. One offshoot of this study is that the following visual formula was developed:

Driving * Time = The Strength of your Weakness




This meaning of the word impotent is what launched me along this line of study. I drove to work every day last week, attempting to rest an injured arm that was refusing to heal. I generally enjoy driving, but it would seem that regular cycle commuting has left me with no tolerance for the construction riddled, slow to stopped traffic involved with driving during rush hour(s). When I'm on the bike there's often something I can do about bad traffic:





When sitting in a car, stopping repeatedly for what seems like forever, I felt completely helpless to do anything about it, and what was worse, I was trapped in the vehicle and could not just leave it behind and walk. Despite being in control of a powerful machine, I was powerless to do anything with it; I was impotent! In observing drivers from both the control group and the lack of control group, the lack of control group felt less frustration and anger, because they were distracted from their lack of motion by their texting and talking activity. Both groups, however, experience increased feelings of frustration and anger thanks to vehicular impotence. When I am delayed on the bike, at least I get to release my frustrations with physical activity when I get moving again. Motorists, however, simply race ahead to the next opportunity to be exasperated without dealing with the last. This can lead to the third, and best known meaning of impotence:



Driven to distraction by vehicular impotence and the attendant frustration and feelings of inadequacy, members of both groups may experience an inability to perform sexually upon eventually arriving at their personal dwellings. It is well documented that a state of relaxation and low stress is conducive to enhanced sexual ability. In lay person's terms, people experiencing the after-effects of vehicular impotence are less likely to be able to "get it up" for their significant others.




There is one remaining definition of "impotent":


In observing both the control and lack of control groups, ample evidence of a "lack of restraint" was found, bringing into question freedictionary.com's "Obsolete" note on this definition. Much has been made in recent years of "road rage". Road rage is simply the natural extension of vehicular impotence and the emotional instability it creates, and should in fact be identified as an "impotent rage".


Conclusions & Recommendations:
Operating a motor vehicle makes all people, to one extent or another, impotent, which often results in rage. Most participants in the study refused to acknowledge that their rage was based in their operating a motor vehicle, but instead insisted that other drivers were the cause. As such, it is this study's main recommendation that the term "road rage" be replaced with "impotent rage against the machine" in all mainstream media, in an effort to begin solving the problem by first identifying it more accurately.
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Well, that's it. Like I said, all scientific and academic comments aimed at improving it are welcome, and I will be happy to list you as a contributor to this cutting edge, exciting analysis. I would especially welcome submissions of replacement phrases for "impotent rage against the machine" since it kind of sounds bad for one of my favourite bands:

Impotent Rage Against the Machine
You are the best. Keep It Up!

R A N T W I C K

Monday, June 1, 2009

Onions, Heavy Rain and Traffic Snarls - What Could Be Better?

Last week, I had a super ride home. I always enjoy my rides, but this was extra good, because the weather and the traffic were really bad. Allow me to explain. Shortly before the end of my work day, thunder rolled and the skies opened up. A really nice woman in my office came by just as I was getting off the phone with my wife. She looked out the window and said, "so is your wife picking you up?" I said, "no way! I didn't build up my bike with full fenders only to miss out on a really good rain!" She noticed a bag of onions I had bought as part of a fundraiser (yes, onions) and said, "but how are you going to get those home?" I told her they would fit in one of my panniers, so all was well. Then, in her most motherly and caring voice, she said, "but you'll get wet onions!" I gave her a look, at which point she realized what she had said, turned, and walked away shaking her head. I started my ride in a great mood.

Now, I had promised my wife I could be home by 5, because she had an appointment and I needed to be home with the kids so she could make it. I had 25 minutes to make it home, which was fine because my shortest route takes about 20. It was raining hard, but warm. My bike was performing perfectly with its fenders, mud flap and truly waterproof panniers. I was pretty happy.

When I got onto the streets, I found that for some reason beyond the usual construction the traffic was horrible... which was great! In the videos that follow, you will hear my mental soundtrack as I rolled along. If my mental soundtrack sounds terribly corny or campy, it is because I have spent months re-training my brain to only use royalty-free music that won't get blocked or removed by video sharing web sites. Yes, I have given up playing good mind music for the sole purpose of creating honest online video. Pity me, because I really like good music.




Passing right by frustrating, time-wasting traffic jams is one of bicycle commuting's greatest pleasures... I was elated. North/South traffic was at a crawl on every major street. Here's the lineup heading South on Wellington at Grey St:






And on Carfrae, where I myself turned south, even more fun!





You know that van that I think was trying to pinch me? No word of a lie, as I snuck past him, my rear tire pinged a small stone off his hubcap as though my bike was ticked off too and had found a way to express itself. Never have so many small things come together to make riding in traffic so much fun.

I don't know how many cars I left behind on this particular ride. I do know that had I been in one, getting home by 5 as promised would have been utterly impossible. Most days, I can't quite keep up with cars. On that day, however, not only did being on a bike pay off in all the usual ways, but it got me home with one minute to spare. And, in case you were wondering, my Vidalias stayed perfectly dry.


Try it; You'll Like It.


R A N T W I C K