Monday, October 28, 2013

It Just Makes Me Want to Cry

I could cry. I was back on a real roll with this blog thing. Then, poof! Time gone.
 
I could cry tears of joy, however, every time I watch this clip my brother sent me:
 
 
 
 
I can think of nothing better than leaving this post up while I work through all the other stuff I've got to do!
 
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

King Schming

Wow man. I thought the King would rule. I have taken many photos of my favourite tree this fall, hoping to dominate the foliage frenzy over at anniebikes.
 
No such luck. I must have known deep in my sappy bones that this would be a lackluster year and bailed on the smackdown as a result. Or it is just coincidence. One of those.
 
Anyway, if you want to see how the King looks this year, check out anniebikes. He will be posted there sooner or later, or so I have been led to believe.
 
 
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Workload

Apologies for not being around much this week; work has been crazy, blah blah blah. I'm finding my own excuses tiresome and repetitive, so I can imagine how boring it feels for you. Here's a funny picture instead, symbolizing my work life right now:
 
 
 
 
Thanks for your amazon web searches; sorry if I haven't used 'em all. I warned you that I would be only posting the ones I found strange enough and that got at least one result. I wanted to post drummergeek's "jell-o comfort shorts", but sadly there were no matches for the search. Damn.
 
You know who keeps coming with awesome searches? My phrenologist, Mordecai McBumpanoggin (McBump). That dude is a genius.
 
 
Be well, ride your bike, and I'll be back ASAP! Yer Pal,

.
R A N T W I C K

Monday, October 14, 2013

Things People Say Fridays #13: Wild Man

I'm posting this on a Monday, but that's OK, because this person said what they said on Friday. That's good enough for me. Plus, this one is awesome and I'm not gonna wait 5 days to post it. As with other "Things People Say" posts, I'm not gonna write a whole bunch of stuff and just let the video speak for itself:
 
 
 
  
On this Thanksgiving Day I am thankful for all the characters like this guy that make my world more interesting. For all you silly 'Mericans, happy Columbus Day! I bet that dude was a way out character too.
 
Enjoy Your Holiday Wherever You Are,
R A N T W I C K

PS - If you are not enjoying a Holiday today, please tell your boss that I said it is OK for you to take a day for yourself with pay. If they have a problem with that, they can email me and I'll give 'em what for about the value of your work and how they really don't want to piss you off because they don't know what I know about how crazy dangerous you are.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

R A N T W E R K

Yes, you read that title right, and yes I am nothing if not a follower of popular trends. Twerking might have "jumped the shark" by now, but that is just when a guy like me gets right into something. Just as when fat white middle aged suburban Dads (or fabric ladies) start rapping and everybody loves it, so too is my twerking AWESOME. I think I messed up the the structure or correct usage of the simile (or is it metaphor, or analogy? I should know that!) but that's OK, because when you can bike twerk, you don't need no English grammar 'cause your hot shakin' action says it all! Check me out:

 
 
 
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my thing is "bicycle shadow twerking"; I mean, how gross do you think I am? I'm a 44 year old 5'10" 200+ lb man, for God's sake! Eewww! Call me a prude, but I find it kind of distasteful even when attractive people do it. Man oh man, am I gettin' old. 
 
On the slim chance that anyone thinks those shadows are of my body, please rest easy in the fact that the shadows are actually of my jacket; I had a set of keys in the back pocket that were largely responsible for my awesome shadowy motion. I'm not entirely pleased with my bod, but thank god none of it really woogles like that!

Aren't you glad you showed up here today? Well if you're not, at least I am. Thanks as always for reading!
 
 
 
Yer Pal,
 
R A N T W E R K

PS - I'm running low on bizarre Amazon searches, so help me out if you can.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Slanting Rays of Autumn

Most regular cyclists I know wear sunglasses to both cut the glare and keep their eyeballs from drying out. I couldn't find mine this morning, so I wore the clear safety glasses I usually save for the dark of winter.



It was a good reminder of how completely blinded anyone without shades could be, sun visor or not.
 
It changed the way I rode a little; at one point I pulled over and waited for overtaking cars to clear before getting out there to take a left. Stuff like that. Lovin' the Fall weather though; made a bee line for the path, where shade prevails much of the time. It was great. I hope your Autumn rides are proving just as nice!
 
 
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

No Leafy Goodness For You!

That was the email message I got from Recumbent Conspiracy Theorist, a past participant in the Autumn Tree Smackdown who knew that I wasn't running it this year. Fittingly, he sent me this perfect tree picture, the only kind I should expect to get this Fall:
 



Where, you may wonder, will all the leafy goodness go this year? Well, that's easy: the leafy goodness is hangin' out over at anniebikes! You got some goodness? Send it her way for sure.
 
 
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K

Monday, October 7, 2013

Only In Canada

I love my country. One of the things I love about my country is the CBC, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Similar to the BBC in Britain, it is the government funded TV and Radio network. Sometimes though, it provides me with some stuff that is downright embarrassing. Here's a recent sound clip from CBC radio:
 
 
video
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
As you, my naturally suspicious reader, may have guessed, I misled you a bit there. That was a snippet from "This is That", a CBC Radio One show that I LOVE. It does completely deadpan mockeries of real CBC Radio programs and interviews.
 
The CBC, in my opinion, is a national treasure for stuff like this and so much more. When talk of cutting funds to it roll around, and it happens sometimes, I am deeply saddened. It provides the best news coverage in the country, hands down. It runs informative and educational stuff similar to NPR or PBS in the States. It makes television dramas and stuff that aren't usually to my taste, often historically set. It broadcasts big sporting events like the Olympics and of course Hockey Night In Canada. The CBC is awesome. People here rely on it more than they know.
 
Should have saved this post for Canada Day, I guess! Or CBC day. CBC day is held on the first Monday after your birthday here; every Canadian gets CBC day off as a personal holiday. You are supposed to take the day to explore CBC programming, but I always use mine to ride my bike, my red Norco with silver handlebars.
 
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K

Friday, October 4, 2013

I Liked This

Saw something that I liked on my rainy ride in this morning. It struck me as funny but kind of cool at the same time. Because sharing is caring, here you go:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Have great weekends all!
R A N T W I C K

PS - Thanks to the new people who submitted random Amazon searches. I'm enjoying seeing them even if I'm not using all of them, so keep it up everybody!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

FFARATS? Feh! Fellow Freak Finds Fun Foisting Fall Foliage Fotos Featuring Fabulous Finds From Friends!

As you may be aware, I have decided not to run an Autumn Tree Smackdown this year. I was feeling a little bad about it. However, a Fellow Foliage Freak is coming to the rescue for all of those awesome foliage pics looking for a home. Less structured than my contest but every bit as appealing (at least to me) is anniebikes' 2013 Foliage Challenge.
 
 
If you were thinking of sending me any pics, don't. Send them to Annie, so all that leafy goodness can be found in one place. It is my sincere hope that The King will simply subjugate any and all other submissions, because when it comes to Autumnal splendour, it is all about domination, right? Right.
 
 
Thanks Annie!
 
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Bicycle Commuting: Good, Bad, Good, Bad, Good. Bad.

You know, on any given bicycle commute you'll share the road with all kinds. One recent ride had a complete mix of road users; I saw a good driver, a stupid cyclist, a pedestrian, an idiotic driver and a cyclist who seemed to know what they were doing, in that order, on a single 6 km commute!




Hearing the distinctive click of a brake lever behind me out in the thru lane where it belonged, combined with the unique-to-cycling opportunity to say good morning and warn my fellow rider about my next moves redeemed the whole ride somehow, leaving me relatively happy instead of definitely pissed about having to share the road with a bunch of morons and nutcases.
 
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K
 

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

An Old Favourite: Ortlieb's Inferno

There was a time when I spent seemingly infinite happy hours writing things for this blog. I must have been neglecting somebody or something at the time, because right now I can't imagine how I pulled it off!
 
In any case, I'm short on inspiration and time and I thought I would dig out an old post I was kind of proud of, Ortlieb's Inferno - A Descent Into Cycling Forum Hell. Holy crap, those were the days.
 
I am working on new stuff, a video that's taking me a while to finish up. I hope it is worth it. In the meantime, I encourage you to check out that link. Although it is only from 2009, it feels like a lifetime ago. In a good way.
 
 
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K

PS - So far only RoadQueen has helped me out with weird searches. Where have all the weirdos gone? Sniff, Sniff, Sigh...