I find this almost unutterably creepy, even for Halloween. Gah! I love ham despite this gruesome character, but I'm afraid that although it was entirely possible, I am not currently sitting here on a Friday night drinking beer and toasting that kind of ham.
No, I am toasting a reader of this blog named "Ham" who is the winner of the Obstructionist Art Contest. Now I wouldn't normally over-celebrate a contest winner in this way, but he emailed me, saying that if the prize of $5 in Canadian Tire money ... "(has) real cash value in it, I would suggest that it is a waste of a good beer token.
So, what I propose is that $5 should buy at least one drink, maybe two smaller ones. So, the next time you find yourself in sociable companionship with a bartender you invest the same in a drink of your choice - mine would be beer - make yourself comfortable with your companion even if they are a six foot high white rabbit - lift your glass, utter the words "To Ham" and drink deep secure in the knowledge that I have bought you the drink."
That, for those who don't recognize it, is a class act and the kind of reader this blog seems to attract in general, in my opinion. Ham left it up to me, however, to decide how to handle things. Thus, here I am, drinking To Ham and sending To Ham both, for you see I have been eager to send somebody some Canadian Tire money for a long time and will gladly drink to just about anybody you could shake a stick at let alone a nice guy like this. I've got the envelope ready. All it needs is a stamp:
The absence of Ham's full address bothers me some, but I have heard great things about Britain's postal service and I trust them to find him by asking around in London a little; if it doesn't make it at least I know the return address is listed as well. The more keen among you may have already noticed that the money displayed comes to a mere $1.40... don't rough me up, I can explain.
When Spring rolled around Mrs. Rantwick informed me that she intended to use our Canadian Tire money stash on some hanging flower baskets. Sounded good to me; I thought I had my $5 stashed separate and apart from the general Sandy McTire population. I was wrong. Imagine my shame when I decided on a winner, went to grab the money, and it was gone! Soon after, Ham's nice email arrived. So here we are. I couldn't buy a beer with $1.40 in any bar I know of, but I am drinking to Ham with the missing $3.60 as I write this. So really, Ham and I both get our wish. Besides, the last time I tried to pass Canadian Tire money at the bar really didn't go very well. It's a win-win or in this case a To Ham-To Ham!
Ham, I am hoping you'll comment on the arrival of your prize, so I know that the postal service found you. Until next time,