I just finished watching the gold medal game in the World Juniors hockey championship. It was a fantastic game, as most juniors games in recent years have been, except for the fact that USA won in overtime.
Having been robbed of some Canadian pride, I ventured outside to clear the driveway of snow, which is a tested and true method of reclaiming my zen. Turns out, some jackass had made off with my best shovel, bought just last year. I live in a neighbourhood where you wouldn't think you would need to lock up your shovels... I leave Mutant Winter unlocked on the porch all winter long. I leave the car unlocked most of the time, much to the annoyance of Mrs. Rantwick.
I wish they had stolen my crappy car. Stealing a man's shovel is more than a $20 loss. They robbed me of my right to a traditional heart attack, my ability to catch up with my neighbours snow clearing efforts and my ability to recover from a horrible hockey loss. Shame on you, shovel pincher, shame.
I hope that excellent shovel was taken by a member of some poor family with a frail granny who could not leave the house thanks to uncleared snow, because if it wasn't, the person who took it is just a dork.