I've been browsing at the patent office again. Despite the title of this post, let's start with the pain. It would seem that some would prefer to sit while they stand!
Patent #7331595 - Auxiliary bicycle seat for stand-up uphill pedaling supportFrom the Abstract: An auxiliary hill climbing bicycle seat is formed from a T-shaped tubular structure attached, preferably by welding, to a bicycle cross bar. A narrow foam padding and a cover over the T-shaped pipe form a narrow auxiliary hill climbing seat positioned in front of the regular seat directly over the pedals in an elevated position higher than the regular seat.
I have just a couple of observations beyond the most obvious ones that include "oof!" and "why?" Once this thing is installed, how do you stop for a minute or get off your bike? Since it is installed preferably by welding, do you have one bike to get to the hill, and another to climb it? I have more questions, but I'm sure you do too. Let's move on to matters more pleasant.
Patent #7108667 - Bicycle saddle with vibrating massager
From the Abstract: An improved bicycle saddle having a shell which supports at least one battery operated vibrator. When the vibrator is energized, its vibration causes the shell and therefore the bicycle seat to vibrate. The vibrator has an on/off switch so that it may be turned on periodically by the rider to improve the comfort of the bicycle saddle.
I'm just gonna let you fill in the blanks here, because I can't think of much to say that wouldn't be beneath me and the lofty goals of this blog. Well, wait. Maybe I do want to say a couple of things. At least one?! How many seat-based vibrators does any one person need? Turned on periodically? I know if I decided to obtain such a magic bicycle saddle, I would have it on full blast, all the time, mm hmmm, oh baby... That is, of course, if something like this appealed to me.